Y Here? Y Now?

My Y post today is something that has been on my mind, probably for most of my life.  Y am I here?  Y was I born in this time?  Y was I born in this place?  I also write about it in much more detail over at the Joe blog today.  I hope you'll go read it too:)

Have you ever wondered that?  For all the complaining we sometimes do (sad to say) there are places who have it so much worse than us, even in our own United States, even.  I went on a mission trip  to West Virginia a couple of years ago, and there were houses there with dirt floors still.  I met people who were poor to the extreme.

Y am I so blessed to be born here in the U.S. in Central Illinois with a fair amount of money to keep me fed and clothed with a roof over my head?  Y wasn't I born in Africa?  Y wasn't I born a different into a different race?

Y wasn't I born into a different period of time?  I could have just as easily been born in the 1800's or maybe during the time Jesus walked on earth.  Can you imagine?  Y now?

Take some time to enjoy this video by Chris Rice and a young guy named Bobby:) Be sure to check out the other Y posts at Peej's blog and see you next week for the very last letter...Z!

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X Marks the Spot!

I'm a little late for AzZ post this week.  Go see Peej's blog for other 'on time' X posts.  And now, my post that has been on my heart all week but I've been squishing it down because I had no time or energy to write it.

X marks the spot.  Actually, not on a pirate map, though.  It marks the place on my heart from all the times it's been touched this week.

I've been missing church lately.  When school starts, I get slammed down physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Because of that, it's hard for me to get there.  With harvest  full force the last couple of months, Jim hasn't gone, and with no kids at home, I've been staying in bed asleep.  You know, the longer you don't do something, the harder it is to start doing it?  It is true.  Last Sunday, honestly, I could have gone.  I didn't feel quite as bad as normal.

Complacency hit me.

I was pretty safe in my bed.  I was secure knowing the extra sleep would help me get through my work week better.  I was placing my trust in myself instead of placing it in God.  What I needed more than anything was to get my gas tank filled up with the Word at church.  I needed to be around Christian friends and family.  I needed the hugs and back poundings (even though they make me wince.)  I needed that physical contact.  I needed corporate worship no matter how I felt.  I've gone to church barely able to walk before.  I've held onto Jim's arm.  I've wilted onto his shoulder.  I've sat through worship.  I've done what I've had to do.  I've been present or maybe not so present.  I've been there.  Complacency beat me this time.

Anyway, tuggings right at the heart are drawing me back.  One tug at a time.  One FB writer friend shared some verses from Psalms with me on my wall.  It was very timely and she had no idea what was going on.  Well, she will  now:)  A close friend from church who keeps me accountable, texted me last Sunday to check on me.  Another close friend asked me out of the blue if I went to church that day.  I had to admit, no, I didn't.  It made me feel good to know that she reached out of herself and her own hard circumstances to hold me accountable.

One morning, as I was getting ready for school, a FB PM popped up from my pastor.  He wanted to encourage me in the Lord.  He knows I have health problems and I hadn't been there in a while.  That really meant lots because our church is so big.

You see, X marks the spot right to my heart.  People reached out to me, each in his/her own way, and drew me in.  God used them to draw out the complacency.  It was like an antibiotic for my soul.  I am so very grateful for them.

So, X marks the spot.  God used lots of people, more than I wrote about here, to touch my heart.  I'll be sitting in church this week, no matter how I feel.  You can count on that.  And now I'll be ready to be hit hard by the old trouble-maker himself.  I might need some prayer.  Yikes!  Anyway, X marks the spot.

I'm trying to Nano my way to 50,000 words this month.  I can use some prayer for that too.  Until next week for the letter....ummm...Y - See ya!

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What?

This has been my day.  See it?  Can you imagine hearing it in a newly freshman-y bass voice?  And it goes up at the end.  What?

And the - Huh?  Even when the kid knows what's going on.  It was funny at first and then it got to be a little bit irritating.

Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  

Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  

Huh?  

Huh?  Huh?

Irritating, isn't it?  

Ha ha!  Anyway, just thought I'd share a piece of my day with all of you for my A2z.  W is the letter.  WHAT is my whine:)  I just threw HUH in there for good measure.  Go to Peej's blog for more SANER W posts.  See you next week for X then Y & Z.  And yes, I said more saner:)  It's just one of them there days.

Say WHAT?  

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Victory or Vaporization?

Today is the end of my seven week stint.  It remains to be seen how it will play out.  Anyone want to write the conclusion for me?  I can give you a scenario.  I have a cold.  I'm run down.  The kids are excited about their teacher coming back because it gives them some ray of hope that maybe she doesn't get grouchy like I do.  Ha ha!  Good luck there, kiddos!

Will this be a day of victory or will the kids vaporize me? Will adults win out or will students prevail?   Will see you at the same bat time - same bat channel:)

And you can see other, much better V posts at Peej's blog, but you better hurry in case they are vaporized too!  You never know about this day.  You just never know!

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Under a Week!

Last week I talked about the Tontos in my life.  I certainly depend on them.  God put each and every one in my path for just the right time to speak just the right word.  He continues to do that.  Tonight I had a friend call me.  She always lifts me up and speaks into my life.  She usually challenges me too.  That part isn't always so pleasant.  HAHA:)  But it is so very needed, you know?  That's a true friend.

Sometimes a friend doesn't even have to say a word, just sitting beside you is enough - just like Charlie Brown and Snoopy over there.  I love that picture:)

Sometimes God puts us all alone so we have to cling to Him.  I experienced that a couple weeks ago as I got in the van to drive to school.  It was pea soup.  Just horrible.  I had no idea it was bad out until I got going.  I couldn't call anyone or text.  There was NO WAY my hands could let go of that steering wheel.  All of my senses had to focus on the road.  I was scared.  It was just me and God.  God and me.  When I got onto the main road, I realized just how bad it was.  A car went by and I didn't see it until it was right on me.  Talk about scared.  It was one of those days you just pray and then gun it.  Scary.  Anyway, some days, God wants it like that.  He reminds us that HE is all we need.  He is always but He also gives us others.  He is so awesome!

Okay, let me turn away from spiritual for a bit:)  Today isn't T day.  It's U and I was having trouble with U.  Well, not with U personally.  Ummm...U know what I mean.  Shut up:)  Ugh.  Haha.  Okay.  All I could think about was underwear and I'm certainly NOT going to write about underwear!  Not about granny panties or tightie whities!  Nope!  Not going there!!!  See me not going there?

Okay!  Now then. Seriously.  I will go here.  Right now I'm kind of in a bad spot.  I'm with some people who have experienced things that I can't even imagine.  I feel at a loss how to help.  I'm at the end of my rope.  I hear that's where God is though.  Just waiting to catch me when I fall.  I can't say anything more here.  If you ask me personally I'll tell you but just suffice it to say - I would really appreciate your prayers!

I have UNDER a week - see?  That's where the U comes in.  And I'm pretty happy for the UNDER a week business.  I will have fulfilled a commitment that God laid on my heart, partially anyway.  I'll still be there but not in the same capacity.  It will be very freeing to let go of the responsibility.

Soooo...I will continue to trust God and give Him full control.  And I will keep breathing.  Keep breathing... I might need to be reminded of that if you see me around.  Keep breathing...Keep swimming...Maybe even remind me to let go of the rope if you see me hanging for dear life and the ground is like a foot under me:)

Now go on over the Peej's blog to see the other U posts.  I betcha no one had the nerve to write about Underwear!  I just betcha!  See you next week if not before!

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Tonto?

Today is Tuesday which makes a very good day to celebrate the letter T.  Go on over to Peej's blog to see more T posts!

Yesterday as I was driving to school, I was praying for a certain friend.  She's a fighter of injustices and is very upset right now at how some things are going.  I don't know details.  She just asked me to pray so that's what I was doing.  God knows it all.  He doesn't need me to know anything more than I do.

Funny thing is, I described her as the Lone Ranger to God.  I prayed that she wouldn't feel that way.  Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto at his side.  This friend has God, of course.  The Holy Spirit is constantly filling her, giving her the words to say whenever she speaks - but sometimes we need a Tonto.  I'm not sure if she has one but I hope she does.

No one ever remembers Lucy without Ethel or Fred without Barney.  We were made to work together.  Be a team.  Hold each other up.  Be accountable.  Once in a while, sing the other's praises and then turn the tables and the other do the same.  It's not a one-way street.

There wouldn't have been a Lone Ranger without Tonto.  Tonto was the right-hand man.  Lucy wouldn't have been nearly as funny without Ethel at her side.  I'm sure we all would turn off the television sets without the crazy DUO.  Can't have one without the other.

There are Tontos in our husbands, wives, friends...  God gave us each other for a purpose, to meet needs in different ways, in ways that others can't.  Amazing ways.  I am so grateful for the many God has put in my life.  I wouldn't be able to make it without my Tontos.  And in turn, I am a Tonto to many.


Look a moment into your friendships.  Do you acknowledge the Tontos there?  Do you see maybe you are taking advantage and now it's time to be Tonto yourself?  Just for a bit at least?  October is Pastor Appreciation month.  This is an excellent time to encourage and build up our Lone Rangers/Tontos Pastors.  Many times, especially in small churches, they are both rolled up into one - sad to say.

I'm in an awesome church where the leadership all works together as one.  There is NO one Lone Ranger but they all take turns being Lone Rangers/Tontos.  Since this is my blog, I will take the time to appreciate my pastors at First Christian Church: Greg Taylor, Kent Hickerson, Ernie Harvey, and Adam Brucker -- all great men of God - truly!

AND, thank you, my loyal a2z readers, for encouraging me in this meme journey.  Until we meet again - 

"Hi Yo Silver, away!"

And a fun song to leave on...

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Silliness

Hey hey hey!  It's a2z day. Hop on over to Peej's blog where you'll see lots of S posts.  Soooo, S is the letter.  My days through the week are filled with silliness.

What can I say?  I work with high school kids.  Very special high school kids.  I can come to school feeling very bad and they make me forget.  They make me laugh.  

Real belly-laughs.

A cheerful heart is good 

medicine, 

but a crushed

spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter  

 and your lips with shouts of joy.

Job 8:21

A happy heart 

makes the 

face cheerful

Proverbs 15:13

Sooooo, I'm just here to say, I have one of the best jobs around. Yes I do! We have our ups and downs. I have to yell at them at times, yes I do. ergh:( But, for the most part, we have a blast! The funny thing is, their lives aren't perfect.  They have disabilities that make life hard yet they keep on.

I have one kid that tells me the scores of the games from the night before.  He can tell me who is playing Sunday night football.  He will tell me who is in what position in Nascar.  Honestly, I don't care, but he does so I try to act interested:)

They are like square pegs trying to fit in round holes.  They squeeze and squeeze.  They don't quite make it BUT they have fun trying.  I'm proud of our high school population.  I've never seen them make fun of our kids.  But it's a small town and they've all grown up together.  They know each other and their strengths and weaknesses.  That's kind of a cool thing in a weird creepy kind of way.  

It's awesome to enjoy your job, but you know what?  I don't consider it a job.  It's my ministry and I'm loving it.  This is where God has me for now and I will do the very best I can in His Name and for His glory.  I hope and pray that when these kids see me, they will see a bit of Jesus reflected through me.  That's my prayer. 

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Really Great Unfinisher is Finishing!!!

R is for Finishing?  Well, no.  R is for sliding into a REALLY great finish with the a2z meme with Patty over at Ordinary People.  Ha!  But I have nine weeks left.  Rats!  But I am managing to keep up in a REALLY busy time in my life right now.  I knew I'd pull that out of the hat.

I sent out a plea to Jan Ackerson one day for a good book to read with my class at school.  She not only gave me the title, but she sent me the copies too!  Awesome woman, she is!  The kids R loving and hating it at the same time.

Joey is a boy with MAJOR problems.  He has ADHD and his medicine works in the mornings but wears off by the afternoons.  He has an interesting home life, to say the least, which doesn't help his situation at all.  He loves to entertain his classmates.  One day, he learned he could swallow his key then fish it back up his throat.

Now, the author, Jack Gantos, is awesome at describing exactly what is happening and what it looks like.  The girls are grossed out and covering their ears and the boys are giggling.  Today I offered extra credit to one kid if he comes in with a key covered in spaghetti.  He said that would be perfect because he's eating spaghetti tonight at home.  SCORE!  (He did it!  See the picture?  Touchdown!)

Anyway, poor Joey, he tries so very hard to be good but he can't quite do it.  All of us can relate to this book because in our class, we all try hard to be good.  Yes, even me.

You know what I LOVE about Joey Swallowed The Key?  It's hard for me to take it out of the kid's hands.  They, as in the girls who make me think they are so grossed out by it all, want to know what's next, and that, my blogger friends, is a major accomplishment.

I will quote the famous Joey when he hasn't taken his meds,

"Can I get back 
to you on that?"



Sounds like a good ending to me.  Keep on reading! 


 Until next week....  
See ya!

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P's & Q's

As you can see, this is a catch-up week for me  Everyone else is happily blogging on Q at Patty's blog but I snuck around the corner with p & q together.  Shhhh....  Of course, I'm not doing what my post title says - minding my p's and q's, but it's my blog and I suppose I can do what I want to so I will.  I'll refrain from sticking out my tongue because that would be over-the-top juvenile.  I'll let that critter do it instead cuz that's just how it is right now.

Do you know where the phrase, 'mind your p's & q's' comes from?  Good old Wikipedia says this, "comes from early printing presses. Printers placed individual letters on a frame to print a page of text. The letters were reversed, making it easy to mistake lowercase p's and q's in setting the type. A reminder to stay watchful of the details could have come from this time as well."  

Our church has started a new Bible reading challenge.  There is a  new catch phrase - NT 75 - the New Testament in 75 days.  Today was the first day.  You know what that means, right?  It means that I'm totally not behind yet.  I'm right on track.  Matthew chapters 1-4 read.  Marked off my handy yellow chart.  Check.  Yes!  

Well, as I read, of course I was watching out for what could relate to minding your p's & q's.  John the Baptist was the official spokesperson for making sure that everyone did just that.  He was, "A voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'" (Matthew 3:3 NIV)

John denied himself of all luxuries.  He lived in the desert.  He ate locusts and wild honey.  His clothes were made of camel's hair.  That couldn't have been very comfortable, I'm sure.  Can you say itchy?  I read where camel's hair is coarse and inflexible.  I'm thinking that's just how John was too.  Pretty inflexible.  He knew what he knew and he would stand up for that truth no matter what.  In fact, that truth made him lose his head later in his life.  

John minded his p's & q's according to what God called him to be but the world didn't like it.  He would be killed because he taught something different than what the world was teaching at that time.  He was paving the way for Jesus.

As inflexible as John was, Jesus was the opposite.  Jesus seemed to break the rules.  I'm sure John didn't understand that one bit but he knew enough to not call His Lord on it or maybe he did question Jesus.  Maybe it was John that sent his disciples over to ask Jesus the fasting question, you think?

"Then John’s disciples came and asked him, 'How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?'

Jesus answered, 'How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.'"  Matthew 9:14-15

Jesus came to shake up the world.  He ushered in a new way of looking at things.  The Old Testament Law said to stone the adulterer.  Jesus said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  John 8:7

Jesus was giving us a new way of living.  No longer did we have to follow strict guidelines of what to eat and what not to eat.  The p & q's were much easier.  Jesus brought us freedom.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  John 8:36

John the Baptist did what he was supposed to do.  He paved the way for Jesus.  Jesus came and paved the way for us to get to Heaven.  Minding our p's & q's is much easier now.  Can you imagine what it was like before Jesus came?  Wow!  I can't even imagine!

Okay.  Nine more letters to go!  See you next week if not before!

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Organization!

Finally!  I've achieved something I've not ever achieved before - a level of organization!  For another month I will be substituting for a class at school while the teacher is on maternity leave.  I've never been so organized in all my life.  I have everything planned for the week and even into the next.  It feels great!

I can't say it flows into the rest of my life though.  I'm a piler at home.  I know where everything is - don't get me wrong.  I suppose I'm an organized clutterer.  Is there such a thing?

I have a routine down now and it helps so much to have as much done at night as I can. I know what exactly (to the second) what time I need to wake up to get things done.  I can even get to school early.  That means no speeding to make it just in time.  Of course, it is just the end of the second week.  The newness hasn't worn off yet.  Give me time.  Soon I'll be sleeping in as long as possible, I'm sure, and pressing my luck with the speedometer.

I'm having an awesome time with the class but I'll be ready to hand the reigns to the teacher and slip back into the aide position.  And that planner picture I found online.  It's so not true.  From the beginning, well, after I flailed around a bit, I've let God be in control.  Things have gone much smoother since I did that.  It's not perfect because I'm not perfect and the kids aren't either but we're sharing some laughs and learning lots so I suppose that's what matters.

So you see, O is for ORGANIZATION.  If only I could get a handle on things at home.  I'm sure my life would go much more smoothly there too, but until then, I will delight in my success at school and thank God for being with me each step of my days and thank all of you for praying for me too.  

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N for Nook Color!

N is for Nook Color!  My husband came through and got me a Nook for my birthday.  So sweet!  I think it's because I'm having such a hard time with moving our son to college and adjusting to this empty nest thing.  In fact, this is the very first night I made dinner for the two of us.  It is so strange.  He came in one night and asked if I was going to cook.  I looked at him funny.  I think he went and made a peanut butter sandwich.  No Nik, no dinner.  Sorry.  I was in mourning.  I did make baked chicken and potatoes tonight.

Anyway, I will sing the praises of the Nook color.  It is pretty awesome.  I have The Help downloaded on it, which Mari and I saw at the movies and it was AWESOME!  Everyone should go see it.  I also went to my public library and signed up to borrow e-books through them.  That is the reason I went with the Nook in the first place.  As soon as I was told it's the kind libraries are using, I was sold!  Anyone shopping for one need to know this.  I'm all into using libraries.

I also have access to Pandora radio and anything on the web, really.  The only thing is, it isn't 3G but that's okay.  I can also set up my email accounts.  For all of us that have faithwriter emails though - that won't work.  I'm thinking I need to move them over to gmail soon.  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I have an excellent Bible App.  That's what I really wanted.  Tecarta Bible:

Features

• The full New International Version (NIV), New International Reader's Version (NIrV), Today's New International Version (TNIV), The Message, or the King James Version (KJV) downloaded to your device, so no Internet connection required!
• Great looking text—most handheld Bibles look terrible, but the NIV Bible is formatted to look like your printed bible.
• Clickable Zondervan Study Bible cross-references for quickly finding related passages! (on supported translations)
• Full-text search.
• Easily take notes—keep them on your device or email them to yourself or friends!
• Bookmark favorite passages and quickly return to them.
• Navigable history of where you've been recently, like in a web browser.

Anyway, I just wanted to quick check in and say - N is for Nook color and it's also for Nik, who I'm missing lots. Especially when I have to go upstairs and feed the turtles :(   Go check out other N posts at Patty's blog!

Second day of school done and third one will soon be here.  Thank you for the prayers and encouragement.  Until O.... or before!

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M is for Moving On...

I am very late this week.  I just got home yesterday from Michigan, which does begin with M too, I know.  But this post is my focus now - Moving On.  We are moving my son Nik to college tomorrow, to Southern Illinois University of Edwardsville.  He's planning to go into Criminal Justice.

I know he'll do well.  He's a very smart guy.  I know he'll make lots of friends plus lots of his friends from Clinton will be there too.  That's not the problem either.  The problem isn't him...the problem is me.

He's my baby.  I had him eighteen years ago.   I was thirty years old.  Ryan was about ten when Nik was born and Kristen was eight.  That's a pretty big age span.  By then I had things pretty much figured out.  I wasn't so scared.  We had more fun.

Nik went everywhere and did everything.  He learned to count by keeping score at Ryan's baseball games.  He was really good at it too.  The older boys played with Nik so he was really sociable and it's been the same to this day.  He's my fun kid.  Not ever shy.  Never.  He has a dry sense of humor and he's so very funny.

I got to work at the same school as Nik for these four years.  It's been so much fun and now....guess what? No job openings for teacher's aides at SIUE:)  Don't think the two hour commute is feasible even if there were.  I think Nik might frown on the idea too.  He loves me but he would draw the line to me following him to college.

He's ready.  His bags are packed.  I know because I helped him tonight.  He's been ready for a year.  I know because I've heard him bemoaning the fact that his senior year took so very long.  Yes, he's ready but this Mama Heart isn't.  This Mama Heart is breaking in half.

M is for moving on, which is what Nik is supposed to do but it sure does hurt.  It hurts bad.  But I also know that I'll get used to it soon, too soon.  And he'll be home soon, too soon:)  Just when we get used to our empty house.  :)  But for now, my heart breaks and the tears flow.  Tomorrow is going to be a killer on this mama and so many other mama's in Edwardsville and all over the country.

I sure do love Nik and Nik loves me.  I'm proud of him.  So very proud.  I'm proud of all three of our kids.  So very proud.  And now, as the last one leaves me...

ugh...can't type through tears anymore

M is for moving on...and other M posts that posted much earlier than I did at Peej's Ordinary Lives.  Sorry for the tears.

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Laury Wept

For the letter L, it occurred to me that I’ve been talking about all the crying I've been doing. I wonder how full my bottle is that God has stored for me. He’s probably switched over to the super-sized one by now.

“…put thou my tears into thy bottle:

are they not in thy book? (Psalms 56:8 KJV)

This past Sunday as I sat in church during communion with my 18-year-old beside me, I wept. I couldn’t help it. I tried to hide my tears. The communion song started it. ‘We’ll never know how much it cost, to see my Savior on that cross…’

I imagined standing beside Mary looking up at Jesus, my arm around her shoulder, maybe helping her stand as she wailed in anguish. No, we’ll never understand that moment in time. We weren’t there. We didn’t experience it first-hand, and yet we get to reap the reward of Christ’s death on the cross.

When we sat, and the cracker and juice was passed, I kept my eyes opened and twisted and turned that small piece of cracker in my hand and wept. My Jesus suffered for me. For my family. For you.

Last Sunday, Laury wept. I don’t know if Nik noticed. I’m sure he’s probably thankful he’s off to college soon. Thinking of that makes me weep even more. He’s off to make his own way in the world. He won’t have me waking him up for church. I don’t know if he’ll go anywhere. That causes me great heartache.

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35 is shortest verse in the whole Bible and yet the verse that holds the most meaning to me in my life right now. Jesus wept for a friend, Lazarus, who had just died.  So much is going on right now in this world.  But not only in the world but in our lives and in the lives of our friends and family.  It's hard to hold it all in our hearts.  It comes out in tears for women.  At least it does for me.

I sit at the computer when I read prayer requests and I weep and pray.  So many people have cancer and friends who live with chronic pain.  There are many requests for family members who aren't walking with the Lord.  There are major requests for finances.  Oh, and so much of our land in the south is thirsty for water. So many burdens that affect so very many people....

I have to learn to hand it all over to my God who is our burden carrier.  He makes our load so much lighter.  Maybe that's what you're supposed to do, too.  We all know this but we need to be reminded often.  If you ever give me a prayer request or casually tell me something that is bothering you, know I'm probably on the other end of the computer weeping because that's what I do right now.  I weep.  It's how I handle things at this moment in my life.

And if you see me in person, be ready with the tissues.  It's how I roll at my nearly 48 years of age.  Jesus wept so I can follow in His footsteps.

Go to Patty's blog for more L posts.  See you there!

Here's the song that affected me so.  Hope you'll take some time to worship our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

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