Hello, My Name Is...

Hello, my name is Laury. That's me to the left. Wasn't I cute in my glory days? Not a care in the world. All the cares were left to my young parents. You see,  I'm the daughter of Larry and Dixie Holman. They were married at a very young age: 17 and 16. A year later they had this cute little bundle of joy.

The year I was born, 1963, JFK was assassinated. I don't remember that, of course, but I know it was a major event. The 60's were pretty eventful but my parent's kept me safe.  They sheltered me.  They took me to church and I grew up knowing about God and when I was in grade school, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

But...as time goes on, things weren't as simple as they were when I was young and sheltered by my daddy.  I was out in the world and started making my own decisions. I'd say I haven't done too bad.

I got married to the guy next door, Jim.  We moved right smack in between our two parent's houses.  I remember my little sister coming over and asking if Jim could come out and play. That was a long time ago.  Seasons have come and gone.  Those little sisters and brother all ended up living with us at one time or another.  They chose a rougher road than I did.  Weird that we all grew up in that same home with the same parents.

In the course of time, we moved across the road and then we moved back across to where we live now.  Jim has NEVER EVER been out of this little place called Tabor.  We raised and kicked out of the nest three kids: Ryan, Kristen, and last but not least, Nik. They're okay as far as kids go.  Just kidding. We love them lots and think they're the best.  And now Kristen is married and starting to raise up her own little family.  Funny how life continues to multiply...

All that is behind me now.  I'm in a new phase.  Let me introduce myself.

Hello, my name is:

Now that's the problem.  I don't quite know who or what I am anymore.  The kids are gone.  The whole upstairs is empty.  Just Jim and I here and this summer, I'm alone all day long.  So weird.  Alone.  I love it.  I hate it.  I got pregnant right away after we were married so we really didn't have much time to be just us.

Our whole married lives were centered around our kids and their schedules.  
Now, suddenly...it's not.

During all this transitioning, I had a hysterectomy which helped lots of my emotional problems I was having but still...not all.  I wake up some days and wonder who exactly am I?  I deduce that I am me, whoever me is.  But who is me?

Hello, my name is:

• Lost
• Broken
• Fat
• Lazy
• Stupid
• Untalented
• Friendless
• Lonely
• Unmotivated

Should I go on?

I've had so many things knock me down.  I get back up only to get knocked down.  I try to remember the word is MENOPAUSE but it's still hard.  STILL HARD.  HARD.  And they are all names that satan wants me to call myself, not God.  Those names are all lies. God calls me His child.

God calls me Child of the One True King.

I think every woman can relate to Matthew West's song, My Name Is.  Just like my daddy took care of me and held me with such love in that picture above, God lavishes love on me.  He watches out for me every second unlike my earthly father could or can.  And He knows what's going on in my body and allows me to get help and I have.

And now, as I'm trying to lose weight AGAIN, after I don't know how many times I lose it and then gain it back, I know satan is going to whisper in my ear those words -

You can't do this - Quitter.

But I have to.  I have to be ready.  Stand strong.  Remember who I am.  What my name is.  And when the going gets tough.... I need to remember who I am:

Hello my name is:

Child of the one true King!

What's your name?

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And on the Third Day..., Esther chpt. 5

eI woke up from a nap today thinking about Esther and I knew today was the day to go on.

Many were praying and fasting for Esther. It was a matter not to be taken lightly. A whole Jewish nation was at stake. I'm sure there were some that prayed but didn't really believe. Maybe they started to resign themselves to death. But still they prayed. There was nothing else they could do. They were at the very end of the rope. The only thing that stood between life and death was a girl. Yes, I'm sure there were many doubts.

And on the third day... Sound familiar? Wow. It's in chapter 5 if you don't believe me, verse 1. On the third day... Esther walked in and the king saw her right away and he was happy. He held out his scepter and she touched it. He was ready to give her half his kingdom if that's what she asked.

Were her knees knocking under her dress? I wonder what kind of self-doubts went through her head. What was she thinking at those final steps, as she walked into the room? God used her in mighty ways because of her faithfulness. And she wasn't alone. She had a support group. Friends and family prayed for her. Faithfully.

There is much left to this book. I would suggest you read it. Lots of mystery and intrigue. But what jumped out at me was the support system that Esther had. And you know what else? That we can freely go to our King anytime we want with no fear whatsoever. And He welcomes us. We are His children. And since He's the King, that makes us Princes and Princesses. What an honor.

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Ever Fashionable Sack Cloth, Esther 4

As we learned earlier, it was the King's edict that all Jews would be put to death - young and old. Mordecai tore at his close and put on the very fashionable sackcloth. He wailed, drawing much attention to himself. And he wasn't alone. There was lots of fasting, weeping, and wailing.

It makes me wonder what we would do if given the same news. All Christians in Illinois would be put to death - babies, young and old men and women - everyone. What would I do? Fight city hall? Move to Ohio? Go into hiding? Renounce my faith?

What if you had the perfect cover. No one knew you were a Christian (or a Jew, in this case.) You lived in the Governor's mansion (King's harem) where you had a very special job as maid (one of the favorites of the King.) Why would you tell anyone you were a Jew and take the chance of getting killed?

Esther was very upset to hear her uncle was going around half naked so she sent him some
clothes but Mordecai had more on his mind than fashion. He was praying for a nation. He told Hathach, a man assigned to take care of Esther's needs, everything that happened.
He showed Hathach the edict for annihilation. He told her how much money Haman promised to pay into the royal treasury. Mordecai had a plan. He wanted Esther to go to the King and beg for mercy and plead for her people.
The problem was this: No one could approach the King without being called. If a person did, he or she would be put to death. The only exception to that rule is if the King held out his gold scepter. The life would be spared then.
Esther may have been one of the King's favorites but she hadn't been summoned for a month. What were the chances that she would be called on now? There is no way. Messages were sent back and forth from Mordecai to Esther and Esther to Mordecai.

Mordecai laid it on the line - told her the truth. He didn't hold back, relative or no. "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (12-14)

Esther may have been young. She may have been a woman. But she was also smart and very brave. She knew he was right. She could die either way.

¹⁵ Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: ¹⁶ "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."
The fate of the Jewish nation rested on this young under-cover Jewish woman.

The plot is laid out. Lives are on the line. Esther has made up her mind. And Mordecai is praying. Will God find favor with this young woman and save the Jewish nation?

Of course, we know He did. But just imagine with me again:
What if this were you and your family? Your kids? Your parents? Renounce your faith or die! What would you do? What would I do?

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Royal Spa Treatment, Continuing Esther

Remember the last entry? We talked about King Xerxes and Queen Vashti. Queen Vashti lost favor with the King when she would not obey his decree. Now she was out but King Xerxes was out, too. Vashti was beautiful and he regretted listening to the counsel he had gotten.

But that same counsel got it together and found a woman just as beautiful or maybe even more so. She had to marinate for a year before she could even see the King. This was the custom. In order to be part of the harem, yes, ummm... I said harem, she had to be treated to various beauty treatments. I know, it sounds like a really rough year:) But this was something the young Jewish girl, Esther, was not used to, not at all. The only reason she even followed through with the plan was because her adopted father, Mordecai, said to. He believed even then that Esther was to be used by God.

Because Queen Vashti stood her ground and made the King mad, a young Jewish girl now found favor with the King, thus changing the way the history books would be read. Who knew that God would use a teenage girl to save a whole nation? But I have now gotten ahead of myself again. For now, she is a young girl, enjoying a year at the royal spa.

What are you marinating for? What plan does God have for me? Can we enjoy the spa treatment and not worry what's ahead for now?

'Lord, we want to follow Your plan always. Even if it looks like we're spinning our wheels, maybe you are preparing us for big things ahead. I, for one, want to enjoy this time of marination. I want to continue to marinate in Your Word. I want to be ready when You call my name.'

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Be Careful Who You ask...; Esther 1

I need to go backwards in Esther now. I jumped ahead with my last blog:) The main personalities in chapter 1 and a small bit of 2 is:

• King Xerxes
• Queen Vashti
• The King's Counselors, wise in legal matter

King Xerxes chose a period of six months to open up his Palace to show off his great wealth. At the end of that time, he threw a week-long party Eating and drinking was the top priority. At the same time, Queen Vashti was throwing her own party for the women. On that seventh day, the king was giddy and drunk and ordered his Queen come to him so he could show off her great beauty but the woman refused. Imagine that:)

Side note: Joanne at An Open Book shared Jewish lore about Queen Vashti. It was said that she was told to come out only in her crown. No wonder she didn't follow her husband, the King's orders.

This was unheard of. No one dared go against an order of the great King Xerxes. He was embarrassed in front of his guests. He asked his counselors who took care of his legal matters what he should do. They gave him this advice:

"It's not only the king Queen Vashti has insulted, it's all of us, leaders and people alike in every last one of King Xerxes' provinces. The word's going to get out: 'Did you hear the latest about Queen Vashti? King Xerxes ordered her to be brought before him and she wouldn't do it!' When the women hear it, they'll start treating their husbands with contempt. The day the wives of the Persian and Mede officials get wind of the queen's insolence, they'll be out of control. Is that what we want, a country of angry women who don't know their place? (Esther 1:16-18)

A country full of unruly women - that couldn't happen. So it was decreed that Queen Vashti would be banned and another woman replace her, one that knew her place. This is what King Xerxes had to say, "Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes." (Esther 2:1)

But you know what? When he sobered up and realized what he did, he regretted it. I'm thinking he really should have found better counsel.

I've sought out bad counsel before. Have you? When we want someone to agree and tell us we're right - we know who to go to, don't we? And when we want truthful answers, we avoid those people and go to the ones that are faithful and honest and truly know our hearts and who will disagree with us even though we may get mad at them for a bit. Have friends like that? I hope so. I sure do.

The King regretted acted so quickly on the advice of his counselors. Now he lost his beautiful Queen and would have to start all over again:) Oh boy... What a problem. But anyway...

I say today, be careful who you seek counsel:

• Make sure they are wise and Godly.
  
• Find someone who will take your chin and point it up towards God.
  
• Don't act too quickly and regret your decisions later.
  
• Stay in the Word.
  
• Pray.
  
• Seek Godly counsel.
  
• Be careful who you ask....

(All verses taken from The Message)

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