Donkey or Diviner

Friday, a young man scooted a chair up close to me.  It was clear he wanted some attention.  He'd never done that with me before so I stopped what I was doing.  For some reason, he eyed the map that is on the wall behind my desk.  He pointed out where a friend of his lives, a friend that he knows online, probably from a game.  Anyway, he pointed out Iran or somewhere in that area.  I was feeling especially lonely and missing my very best friend, so I stood up and pointed out just how far away Mari lives from me.  I pointed out Illinois and then I took my arm and swept it clear to the left of the map until I noticed I had left the United States a foot before.  Wow.  


I was looking at a world map, not a U.S. one.  It put a whole new perspective to how far away she is.  On my U.S. map at home, she's at the very edge of the universe, in Washington State.  A lifetime away from me until I check out the world.  Then I see it's not really that far.  A mere 2,000 miles compared to another continent, that's nothing.  It's a five hour plane ride. It's a phone call or text away.  Even closer when we have the web cam up and going.


It's all a matter of perspective.  


But...sometimes we don't see what we should. In the B90X reading on day 12, we learn about Balaam and his quite famous donkey.  


Some men had come to Balaam because they wanted the Israelites cursed. God spoke to Balaam and said, "You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed." (Num. 22:12 NIV)


Balaam told the men the Lord wouldn't let him go.  Soon they came back with even more men to 'persuade' this diviner (a man who attempts to gain insight into a question or situation by way of a standardized process or ritual, often considered witchcraft.)  Well, long story short, God allowed him to go.


The next morning they set out on the journey.  Balaam had his trusted donkey with him and they went along quite nicely until the pesky animal went off the path into a field.  Another time he crushed Balaam's foot against a wall.  The last time, there was no where for the donkey to turn so he laid down in the path.  Balaam was spitting mad each time and beat the beast.  Or the beast beat the animal.  Whichever way you want to phrase it.


At long last, the donkey got to have his say, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"



The donkey spoke and Balaam answered.  What's up with that?  “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”


The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”


 “No,” he said.


"Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown." (Num 22-28-31)


His trusted donkey saved him from an angel of the Lord that was in the road with a sword. The animal saw what was going on. He looked at the world with clear eyes, not clouded by the thought of money or fame and prestige, as Balaam's was.  The donkey even continued to act on what was unseen by man even though he was beaten several times.  I think I would have had much more to say to Balaam than this donkey did, and it wouldn't have been pretty, for sure.  (Actually, when I read on, in Numbers 31, Balaam gets killed when the Israelites take vengeance on the Midianites. I wonder how the donkey fared? hmmmm....)


We have to live by faith and not sight. (2 Cor 5:7) Faith reminds us that God is with us. He is leading the way, when we let Him, that is.  We need to look to God first and last and in between.  Our perspective should line up with God's for us.  It's all in how we look at our situation.  We can cringe and cry and wring our hands or we can run to God, ask Him for answers and listen to Him and act according to what He says.  


Quite often we have someone or something stop and knock some sense into us, much like Balaam's donkey.  I'm thankful for those brave souls.  I hope and pray that if God tells me to point something out to a friend, that I will be willing to do it, too.  Hopefully no beating is involved!


Let's keep our perspective right.  Spit shine those glasses so you aren't seeing cross-eyed and always remember to, "Walk by faith, not by sight."  Let's strive to be more like the donkey than the diviner.

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So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt

I'm in Day 11of my 90 Day Challenge but I have to admit. Shhhh... True confession time here: I got distracted. At least it was about what I was reading.  Okay, another true confession.  This is a rerun of the first time I started the 90 Day Challenge, before it was so cleverly named the B90X.  The red will be my new thoughts. 

^{Numbers 11:4-6} The riffraff among the people had a craving and soon they had the People of Israel whining, "Why can't we have meat? We ate fish in Egypt—and got it free!—to say nothing of the cucumbers and melons, the leeks and onions and garlic. But nothing tastes good out here; all we get is manna, manna, manna." (The Message)

The Israelites were fully taken care of. Every morning when they woke up, breakfast was waiting for them. Manna waffles, bamanna bread, manna souffle...  It was good for awhile but then they grumbled again. It was never enough for them. They daydreamed about those leeks and onions by the Nile. They seemed to forget the whippings and the hard labor.

Okay, I digress again. I remembered a record I had when I was a teenager in the 70's. Of course, I don't know where my records are, not that I could play them anyway, with no archaic record playing machine:) But ohhhh! the beauty of the internet! It took me a little while because I had no idea who sang it or what the title was, but I did it - remember Keith Green? I couldn't find a good YouTube video to watch but it's a good recording. Take a listen.  Maybe it will bring back fond memories, it sure did me.



Good memories, huh? What a funny song but also a foot-stomper, too. Aren't we the same way? We always have something to complain about. We need to take some time to see how far we've come and how much we've grown. I'm still getting used to a life that isn't filled with constant chronic pain. Well, I'm going around that mountain again but maybe not as bad as before, anyway.  Yes, I said getting used to. I have to learn to travel in a much stronger body.  It's a different experience, a different mindset. I believe I've been walking in a miracle, a slow one, but a miracle, none-the-less. If God had made it happen quickly, my body wouldn't have been ready for the drastic change maybe. Or maybe my mind wouldn't have been ready. Like the Israelites, I had to walk around the dangerous enemies because my faith wasn't big enough to allow God to work? Hmmm... I'll chew on that one.  

I certainly don't want to go back to Egypt, not that I've made it to my Promised Land yet. It's been a long walk in that desert but I see myself continuously moving forward with some detours along the way, of course. It's a hard life.  I have close Christian friends going through a divorce, something they never thought in a million years would happen to them. The economy is jerking many around, causing people to lose homes and savings. It's a hard life for sure (and then my mind starts humming, It's a Hard Knock Life, from Annie.) It's a constant journey. Continual education. A faith-experience...

I can sit here and let my heart hurt and my mouth rail against the work of the enemy or I can cleanse my heart and mind and let God back in. God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. He worked miracle after miracle. He's the same God. The very same. Soooo....I choose to watch God's hand at work in all situations. The unjust will get their just rewards. God promised. And we have our Promised Land waiting for us in Heaven.

I do NOT choose to go back to Egypt. No way! Bring on those manna-burgers, God. Send your manna-provision from Heaven. Let it rain down on all of us today. Help us all be grateful for it. Open our eyes and let us see You working. Don't let the enemy block our view. Take off our sunglasses and let us see Your glory!


I wrote this last year and there is still horrible things going on in this world and I still live with chronic pain.  But God is with us.  I just thought of something.  Epiphany time!  We may still be walking around that mountain but we aren't going backwards.  We continue to learn and grow every time we realize we've 'been there, done that.'  Maybe our walk around and up and over the mountain passes will be complete when we finally get to Heaven.  I don't know. It's a brand new thought for me.  I would love to hear what you all have to say about this.  And this time, I WILL complete the B90X!  :)

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Stamp out the Lies, 2011, #2

Jim and I were married for a long time before I heard this come out of his mouth.  I'm not sure what we were talking about.  Maybe I was whining, most probably I was whining:)  He said, 

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,

I think I'll go eat worms!

I'd never heard it before he taunted me that day!  I don't know how many times I've used it since then on my own kids or the kids I work with at school.  

Satan whispers that in my ear sometimes. 'Nobody loves you, Laury.  You're nothing.  Nobody.'  And when I'm hurting or lonely, I listen to him, especially when the atmosphere I'm surrounded by seems to give testimony to those words.  'You're nothing.  God doesn't love you.  If He loved you, wouldn't you be healed by now?'  Right now, I'm crying while typing these words.

Even though I don't really believe the words, I may nurse them in my heart a little and then I get mad and other thoughts rise up that aren't true.  It starts with a little lie and it grows to something major until satan doesn't even have to whisper it anymore.  It's all me, baby.  His dirty deed was done, probably right after he said, 'Nobody loves you, Laury.'  I took over after that.

I grew up hearing the words, 'I love you.'  My mom said it to us lots.  Jim doesn't say it much.  He's a show-er of his love.  That's fine if that's the kind of love language I operate in, but it's not.  I want to HEAR it.  I want, I need to hear those three small words. 


Let me back up here for a second.  I know KNOW Jim loves me and he proves it every day and when he says, I love you, to me, it's especially meaningful.  I don't think it was said much in his house.  It's a difference in how we were raised.  My childhood home was much more demonstrative than his, for sure.  

Power house words that packs a MAJOR punch!

I love you!

Especially when we aren't feeling so lovable.

Just like last week in church, God met me again.  He especially chose a song just for me -- I'm sure of it!  Phooey on all those hundreds of others:)  It was just for me.  Well, anyway, as far as I was concerned, I was the only one in that sanctuary and God spoke to me and the tears streamed down my face.  The lights had just been dimmed and we sat in the short rows on the side so I wasn't too much of an embarrassment to Nik, I guess.  Jim Coonce, our worship leader, listened to God and chose a worship set that ministered to all our souls and helped us connect with God in worship and praise.  


We sang this song, Oh How He loves Us... and I heard, Oh how He loves you, the exact words I needed to hear at that moment, at this time in my life.

Such simple words with such big implications!

Oh how He loves us! 

When deciding what verse to use to back this up from the Bible, I came across an awesome website.  I hope you visit it often.  I know I will when I hear satan whispering lies in my ear again about my insignificant worth in this world and how unlovable I am.  It's a love letter from God.  This site shares fifty verses to prove that love.  Press those blue letters above.  Close your eyes and listen. Feel God's love.  He's with us.  His love is tangible.  He loves us so much.  He knew us before we were born.  He's preparing a place for us to live with Him forever in Heaven.


Hundreds from my church are doing the B90X and Satan's spitting mad.  He doesn't want us spending time reading the Bible.  When we know KNOW KNOW that God loves us, we want to spend time in His Word.  We want to read what He has to say.  We want to sit at His feet.  We want Him to dry our tears and comfort us.


I'm determined to not listen to satan's lies this year.  I'm going to do all I can to recognize those lies and stamp them out!  


Stamp out the Lies, 2011, #1

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B90X - Week 1

This is the day that my church, First Christian Church of Clinton, Illinois is beginning the B90X!

I've tried this challenge before but I went about it the wrong way.  This time I'm committed and will be doing it alongside so many of my church family.

This time I've downloaded a dramatized audio version of the Old Testament so I can listen instead of read when I want.  That will be different for me.  I tried listening in ITunes but it loaded the chapters backwards.  I figured out I can listen in the Windows Media Player and it will read to me from the first to whenever I tell it to stop.

I'm excited to be starting out the new year with a whole church challenge.  Our Pastor, Greg Taylor, will keep us encouraged and moving towards our goal, both in church each Sunday and through his brand new blog:)

B90X is an intense workout.  Week 1's reading is Genesis 1- Exodus 29.  There is nothing like jumping into God's Word with both feet and letting His Spirit splash all over us and inside us!

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Stamp out the Lies, 2011, #1

Today was the first I've been to church in a long while.  Between sickness and ongoing pain and fatigue, it's easier to stay home; especially when I'm working and have to push each second.  I even declared that to a friend one day.  I get fed in other ways.  I missed going yet I wasn't harboring much guilt about it, except that when Mama doesn't go, the rest of the family tends to do the same.  (Can't you just see satan whispering all that in my ear?)


This is the first Sunday of the new year and I'd been off work for several weeks so I really felt it was the time to go.  I'm so glad I did.  So very glad.  Standing there beside my husband praising God is an awesome experience.  Standing in a sanctuary full of people doing the same is right, it's what we need to keep encouraged for another week. 


When thinking about this, I thought of trees so I researched a little about the giant redwoods.  These trees can grow up to 350 feet.  With something that tall you would think the root system would go down deep but I was wrong.  The roots only go down between 6-12 feet, not much compared to the 350' height. 


The reason they can stand tall and proud is because they are surrounded by a grove of trees just like themselves.  Alone, they would crash down at the first big wind, but together they stand strong through the worst storms.  Their roots intermingle together and give them strength.  

We need the strength and support and faith of others to stand tall as the storms blow in our lives.  Because of this, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching."  Hebrews 10:25.

Let's don't believe this lie of satan, that we can worship on our own at home and don't need the fellowship of our church family.  It took a wonderful Sunday at church praising and worshiping God and being challenged in my faith by our pastor, to be reminded of this truth.  


Once each week I'll be blogging about satan's lies that we tend to fall for all too often.  Let's try to block his evil ploys together.  I want to live in the year 2011 with my eyes wide open.  Sounds like a plan, yes?

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