Fall Apart, Josh Wilson

>> Saturday, July 30, 2011

I was riding in the car with my daughter Kristen last night, and a song came on the radio, Fall Apart, by Josh Wilson.  She said it was her theme song right now.  She's pointed out some of my now favorites and she did it again.  Wow!  How can a punk kid speak to my heart?  How is that possible?  :)  I copied the lyrics below along with the YouTube video.  I hope you listen.  It is powerful and so true.

Fall Apart
Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good?
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give you praise
Now it all seems upside down

'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
They've got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to you
And it all seems upside down

'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart

I don't know how long this will last
I'm praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me

'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when--
You will find me when--
I fall apart


The Canary List

>> Friday, July 29, 2011

This is my first Ebook to read through Waterbrook Multomah.  I don't have an E-reader so I used my computer.  It wouldn't let me use the Kindle reader for PC.  I had to download the Adobe Digital Edition Reader.    It was okay, I suppose.  I don't like the idea of having two different readers, though, taking up space on my computer.  Both are different.  If I had to choose, I'd say I like the Kindle for PC better.  Ideally, a Kindle or Nook is what is needed for this but I don't have one.

Anyway, The Canary List by Sigmund Brouwer was different.  Very, very different.  It wound in the lives of an ordinary school teacher, with a young foster child, and a child psychologist, a couple of hired killers, the Vatican, and a plot that makes you think.

The book kept me engrossed.  I never wanted to stop reading yet it was too intense where I had to force myself to stop so I could get to sleep at night.  I'd say it was over my head towards the end.  I'm not interested in the in's and out's of the Catholic church nor am I interested in learning about demon possession.  If you are prone to debates in this area, then you would enjoy the book.  It does cast a bad light on the Catholic Church, too, just for a fair warning.

It was interesting and opened my eyes to some things but all in all, I'd say it was pure fiction.  It's not a book I would read again for fun.  I would be hesitant to recommend it.  Maybe a man might have more of an interest.  It was well-written and intense.  I enjoyed getting to know the characters and felt their pain and hopelessness.  With that, I will leave it up to you and would like to know what you think of the book if you give it a go. It's just different than what I normally read.


J is for...

>> Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This is Tuesday, making it A2z day, which today happens 2 b J.  Anyone who knows me or who reads my blog posts or who catches me on an off day on FB where I post on my wall, knows I've been battling 'stuff.'  I spent some time with my daughter last week.  She's awesome but she's completely opposite me.  She's guarded to the extreme.  No one knows her 'stuff.'  She never writes on her FB wall.  Her mama tells all.  That's me.  How can I get advice from others who have been there, done that if they don't know?  Ya know?

This week I've been hearing Jesus whisper to me, 'Look to me.'  Oh, my J word, by the way, is JESUS, in case I forget to say.  We need to look to Jesus always.  He's the One with all the answers.  When the world starts spinning way too fast - He's the One we need to reach out to get our balance again.  When others don't have time to listen, Jesus is always there.  Others can't understand our hearts.  Bpptt!  We can't even understand us all the time.  Jesus made us.  He knows our quirkiness.  How we tick.  He loves us anyway.  Crazy, I know.

Sometimes I wonder why I battle so much.  Why not just run into His arms?  Little kids don't puzzle things out.  They don't dwell on their hurts.  They cuddle into their daddy's arms.  They look into the smiling face and grin back.  Reach a pudgy finger up and pull a whisker.  We all need to learn from watching children.  They have the right idea.

I'm going to cuddle in now with Jesus.  I suggest you do the same.  I wonder how the world would change if we could all do that?  I know I won't stay in His lap, though.  I'll see things that I think will need MY attention.  I'll get in the way and make messes, just like always.  And I'll get my feelings hurt, invariably.  And I'll have this trail of tears where anyone can find me easy.  It's this time of life I'm in.  Don't know about others.  I am 47, almost 48.  What a weird time.  I thought teenage years were hard.  ergh.  Someone, please tell me it gets easier!  Lie if you have to:)

Anyway, J is for Jesus!  Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life..."  John 14:6.  and He is.  In every area of our lives, He wants to be there.  Won't you let Him?


Posting today at...

>> Friday, July 22, 2011

I'm posting today at the Joe blog.  It's always the 22nd of the month.  My birthday day date so it's easy for me to remember:)  I hope you push the button above and go read.  It's Amphibious Chorus.  You'll get a little closer look into our noisy yard in Tabor, IL.  Try to stay cool today!


I, as in Me

>> Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Today's post is dedicated to the letter I.  Hop on over to Patty Wysong's blog to find more I blog posts - WAIT! not yet.  Since you're here, you can read mine first, okay?  I've managed to stay on task clear through the letter I.  That's amazing if you know me.

ABCDEFGHI - You See...  I start projects and sometimes don't finish them.  Now you know one thing about me.  I get excited about something and then I let the enemy steal my focus or maybe it wasn't a good idea in the first place and it deserved to die.  Whatever the reason, I start and don't finish.  I will finish this project!  Just you wait and see!

I, as in ME (Laury) LOVES lattes.  I'm drinking one as I type.  Almond Joy, as a matter of fact.  I made it myself since there is not one Starbucks around my neck of the woods and it would be quite expensive to support my drinking habit.  But I must confess that I used to not like coffee.  See that picture with Mari?  That's the very first time her and I ever met.  That's also the very first time I ever drank a latte and I was sorely grieved that it tasted like....COFFEE!  Yuck!  She got a big kick out of that observation of mine.  You know what happened to my first latte?  Mari finished it off and was she ever caffeinated!  :)  Anyway, I now drink 2 a day:)  It's Mari's fault.  I drink more than she does now and I think I like the coffee taste better than she does.  What's up with that?

I, as in ME (Laury) is also going through something really strange right now.  I can't stop crying.  I guess it's an age thing.  The tears keep flowing for no apparent reason.  I have a friend that calls me the 'fountain of love.' Oboy.  I cry when reading sad parts of books and the happy parts.  Sad movies.  I cry because a friend tells me she has to hang up.  I cry because...well, just because.  Surely the tears will dry up eventually, right?

You've kept track of my every toss and turn 
through the sleepless nights, 
Each tear entered in your ledger, 
each ache written in your book. Psalm 56:8 (The Message)

I, as in ME (Laury) NEED to be NEEDED. I've figured that much out. I like to help people. I'm pretty sure I came by it naturally. My mom is just like that. I've loved volunteering at Special Touch camp this summer. I hope I can work at even more camps next year. It's such a blessing to be with others who truly appreciate the small things you do for them. They hug and kiss on you and have absolutely no boundaries (which is hard to get used to but it's all okay.) I LOVE SPECIAL TOUCH CAMP! It helped me lose myself and minister the way Jesus did. I did walk out of His way many times, I'm sure, but most days, I totally flowed in His Spirit and did what He had me to do and it was AWESOME!

I, as in ME (Laury) get lost in the summer.  I work at a high school during the school year and I need the summer to rest up but...I also need a routine, thus the getting lost part.  Maybe I need a personal trainer type person to keep me on track.  Keep me in the Word, keep me going physically, keep me writing, researching, reaching out...  I'm just no good at the personal motivation part.  Sad, huh?  A personal weakness.  You see, I NEED to be NEEDED.  If I feel I'm not needed, I seem to wither away.  I think that's where the tears are coming from right now.

I, as in ME (Laury) tend to get way too personal on my blog at times.  ugh.  But writing is where my observations come from.  It sure saves lots of money.  I think of the people talking to counselors - and i sit at my computer and write my guts out to who knows... ugh.  Maybe confidentiality is worth it, eh?

Anyway, I, as in ME (Laury) is having a rough summer.  Physically, I'm doing better.  Thank you for praying. I so appreciate it.  Mentally, it's crazy but I will make it because,

  "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

And I have August to look forward to: seeing Mari August 10th!  Picking her up at the airport, hopefully I won't get lost this time:)  Spending alone time with her before we both get to see so many other friends at the FW conference: friends we've met before and others we've never met.  
I can't wait!  God is good!  So very good!  


Friday Fiction - Yeah, What Then?

>> Friday, July 15, 2011

This was a FW entry I wrote months ago before I ever went to Special Touch Camp.  I spent lots of time with a mother and son through baseball who I set this story around.  She's an awesome mother/caregiver.  I've written much about the camp and all that goes on there, but I haven't really thought too much about the parents who take care of their adult children with disabilities. They need many hugs and prayers if you know of any in your church or community.  They are truly special people.  And please, if any parents have had to put their children in group homes, don't judge them, either.  I'm sure it's best for both parents and the children and was a hard fought decision.  There are awesome group homes!  Anyway, here is my story - Yeah, What Then?

Fifteen-year-old Travis burst into the kitchen holding his art work high in the air. “Mom! Out-standing!”

“Alright!” Sally gave him a high-five then patted him on the back side. Very nice work, Buddy.” She hung it on the refrigerator beside his twin brother’s A+ Geometry test.

Trenton stormed into the room. He bumped into Travis on his way to the fridge then stuck his head in deep and pulled out a soda.

Sally put her hand on his shoulder and he shook it off. “What’s up with you, Trent? Bad day at the office?”

“Ha-ha, Mom.”

Travis stood beside him and pointed. “See my out-standing paper, Brother?”

“I see it,” Trenton growled, “and don’t call me brother.”

Travis grabbed hold of himself and hummed.

Trent didn’t mean it, did you Trent?” Sally gave him her most piercing glare.

“I have homework.” Travis started to walk away but in a sudden spark of compassion, turned and the twin-ness overwhelmed him. “Good job, Trav.”

Travis lunged at Trenton leaving a major drool trail in his wake and spilling soda on Trenton’s white tshirt.

“Uho, Trav, not such a happy face. Keep that mouth closed, remember?” Sally wiped off the drool.

Trenton, go on upstairs and we’ll talk later. Be prepared.”

Travis poked Trenton in the arm and echoed his mom’s words, “Yeah, beeee prepared.”

Trenton put his head down and muttered as he walked away, “Shut up, Retard.”

“I heard that,” Sally called up after him.

“Heard dat,” the echo followed him up the stairs.


Sally prayerfully made her way up to Trent’s room. “Headphones off, Son. What’s going on with you lately?” Sally moved away a pile of books and settled herself on his bed.

“It’s hard having Travis for a brother, you know?”

“You’ve been brothers your whole life. What’s different now?”

Trenton thought for a second. “I guess me. Mom, I failed a history test and I come home to see a page that Travis scribbled and there’s a big OUTSTANDING on it. Are you kidding me? I spent hours studying for that test and Trav kept bugging me. School’s getting harder and he’s in my way.”

“You know, it’s hard on him, too, being a twin brother to a genius.”

“Ha! I’m no genius.”

“You are to him. You’re the most important person in his world. It could have just as easily been you that had the defective gene.”

“I know. Maybe it shoulda been me. He’s a better person than I am, that’s for sure. He always forgives me when I’ve been a moron. He never yells. He blames himself when I get mad at him.”

Sally poked him. “He is pretty outstanding, huh?”

Trenton laughed, “Seems to be the word for the day.”

Sally curled up beside her son; she wrapped her arms around his waist; and she whispered in his ear. “I think you’re pretty outstanding, too.”

“You have to say that.”

Sally smiled, enjoying the sweetness of the moment.

“Mom, doesn’t it ever make you sad having to take care of Travis? You have to wipe away his drool and wipe his butt after he poops. You have to help him get dressed and wash his hair. What if something happens to you and Dad? What then?”

Tears pooled in Sally’s eyes. “Yeah, what then?”

Trenton burrowed in closer to her.

“Your dad and I talk about that all the time: the why’s, the what if’s, the what then’s. Maybe I’m in denial but I just want to focus on the outstanding’s right now, okay?”

“Sure, Mom, I get it.” The two sat quietly, snuggled in close until Trenton broke the silence. Mom?”


“I’m too old to snuggle like this. You know that, right?”

“I know but you’re letting me and I went with it.”

“Know what else, Mom?”

“I’m so tired. I don’t even have the energy to guess right now so why don’t you just tell me.”

“You’re pretty outstanding yourself.”

Sally sat up in bed and fixed her hair. “I am, aren’t I? It’s time for this outstanding Mom to go fix two outstanding boys and one outstanding Dad a super outstanding dinner. How’s that sound?”

“Well, I’d say outstanding, but that would sound super stupid. How about, good, cuz I’m starving!”

“Okay. You, do homework. Dinner at seven. And Trent, please be nice to your brother from now on.”

“You are too funny, Mom. Brothers are never nice but I’ll tone it down some. I promise.”

Head on over to Dancin' in the rain to read more Friday Fiction stories.  I'm sure you won't be disappointed!


H is for....

>> Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Last week, because I was so original, I went very unoriginal in my thinking for today.  Of course, H is for hands today in my Tuesdays A2Z post.  You can find much more unique posts at Patty's blog.

Okay, H is for HANDS!  Small, soft little baby hands resting in yours....ahhhh...there is nothing like it.  Harumph!  Little roving baby hands that tug on your glasses - ouch!  Yes!  Nothing like it:)

Hands that wrap around your husband's neck - in a hug of course.  I guess it could be a good old squeeze of... well, you can fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind.  :)

Hands that are also ready to hold onto very best friends hands after not touching in so very long because of distance.  Life is so cruel to hold miles between friends.  Of course, I'm thankful for miles because an acquaintance from my town lost her very best friend to death so I am oh so thankful it is only miles.  Yes, very thankful!

Hands also wrap around a book.  Sweet, hard bound books, soon to be replaced by, ugh... dare I even write it?  Ebooks.  ugh.  What will become of bookmarkers, I ask you?  How about turned down pages or smudgy chocolate spots?  My hands will miss holding books.  When books fall, they just do that, fall.  What happens when your lovely Ebooks fall?  Yikes!  They break, right?  Yes, my hands love to caress a good book.  I won't even ask what will become of libraries...

Hands, are really low maintenance but they do so much for us in our daily lives.  They help us brush our teeth, they pull up our socks and tie our shoes.  They wave good bye and hello.   They can make silly gestures to cause laughter and they can get you into a great deal of trouble if they are so inclined:)

Yes, H is for hands, among many other things, but I thought hands should have their very own day - today.  And now I will think about the day my hands will be able to hold many friend's hands in August at our FW Conference when so many of us will be congregated together.  And soon, later today, a friend from home is coming to see me with food in hand - those are some good HANDS!  And I'm sure I will get a HUG!  Oh the JOY!!!!  A friend with skin!  That is rare indeed!

Hoping you can celebrate your hands today with lots of hugs both given and received and lend a hand to others.   They say what goes around comes around but that doesn't always happen.  We give because that's what Jesus wants us to do.  Remember, this truly comes from the  HEART:)

With love and so much more love for you all, my loyal prayer warriors!


To Be Perfectly Honest

>> Monday, July 11, 2011

This book, by Phil Callaway, published by Multnomah, is, to be perfectly honest, (haha) very different, unexpectedly funny in a weird captivating way.  I must confess, it kept me up many nights until my eyes drooped and I just barely had enough energy to lay the book down and turn off the light.

This author, Phil, was given an assignment, to not lie for a whole year - that's 365 days of no white lies, no stretching the truth, nothing.  I would say he didn't live up to the task but he shared very truthfully his very fun and not so much fun days.

You know me, I don't like to give away books so I will point out journal entry days -

Day 69 - I said it goes with my pastor's sermon from the past Sunday.  Ah...he said one of his earliest lies he was taught was when he gave his life to God, he would be miserable.

Day 71 - I just wrote funny with a smilie face... let me go look:)  Oh, he said he doesn't wear his watch to church unless he's speaking because someone told him it's a distraction, so he's constantly looking at his wife's watch instead.

Day 85 - I wrote.... awwww... you'll just have to read the book to see why.  He has a romantic little bone in his body for being married thirty years.  Sweet.

Mr. Callaway is very open and honest with his life for these 365 days.  He is a true comedian and it shows.  I had honest-to-goodness belly laughs when I was supposed to be sleeping.  If you are looking for a book that is extraordinarily different; a book that would appeal to both men and women - a book that will make you think about your life and just how much you might lie to save someone's feelings or to get out of doing something you just don't want to do - then I would say THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!

I hope you will go buy it!  I recommend it HIGHLY!


Her Safari

>> Friday, July 8, 2011

A very good friend, Lisa Mikitarian, has published her very first book, Her Safari.  She has just released a promotional video and I wanted to share it with my readers.  I can't wait to receive copy so I can do a review for her, meanwhile, I will promote all I can because that's what I do - toot for others until my time has come:)

Mari Thelander is also finishing up her novel, Wellspring, and preparing it to pitch to agents as well as Joanne Sher, Patty Wysong, and Dee Yoder.  So many are rising up in the ranks, fulling their dreams.  I am still battling aliens in my body that seek to keep me down physically and emotionally.  One day it will be my turn but until then - here is my battle plan - help my friends in any way that I can even though we are so many miles apart.

And here it is, Her Safari promotional video with the very graceful and lovely, Lisa Mikitarian:)


Taming the Beast Within!

>> Tuesday, July 5, 2011

This week's letter is G and G is for Gyno!  My Gyno, which I visited today, is a good guy.  His name is Don Sielaff.  He's had to see a most unreasonable me on numerous occasions as of late.  Luckily for him, on a visit a couple weeks ago, he was stooped over with a horrible migraine. That may have just saved him from my wrath:)  I'm not kidding, honestly!

He has been given the assignment of taming the beast within me or shooting it dead - whatever it takes!  Today he went over everything that could go wrong during the procedures.

He said to me, "Of course you know all this because you signed the form."

I just nodded my head and smiled.  Yup.  I read every word.  Honestly, if we read and took to heart all that was on those forms, none of us would ever have a surgery or take any medicines - it would be way too scary!

I then walked down the hallway and turned the wrong way (of course) and the nurse had to point me in the right direction.  Abraham Lincoln Memorial Hospital has a brand new building and it's very nice.

I got 2 pokes, the first missed my vein (of course) but the second made it.  That's very good for me, though.  Now I have a hospital band to wear until my procedure on Thursday.  We have to be at the hospital at 6:30 AM.  That makes it really nice since there is no drinking or eating after midnight and our drive is only twenty minutes:)

Well now you know - G is for GYNO in Laury's world as of late!  GO visit more A2Z meme's.  I can safely say that no one else wrote about gyno for G.  I would appreciate prayers for these procedures.  I'm having a laproscopy done, hystercope, & d&c so I am getting a good work over.

I wrote a story for the FW challenge based on hormonal craziness if you would like to read it.  It is called, Perry's Got it Wrong.  Just click the title and it will take you right there.  I wrote it about 2 AM the morning it was due because I couldn't go to sleep.  I'm living and breathing hormonal craziness.  Praying this doctor can help me:)

Happy July, everyone!!!!

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