Scorched Pan Limerick:)

>> Monday, March 31, 2008

There once was a scorched pot of soup,
That soaked overnight with soap goop.
To get it quite clean
would require a machine
or elbow grease from a scout troop!

This was written by one of my poetic friends Beth, on the spur of the moment with my scorched pan as her inspiration!

And no, the pan is not washed yet. Its still sitting in the sink. In fact, more dishes are piled on top of it. It was a most trying day, Monday was, and Tuesday is not shaping up to be much better, considering its almost 4:00 AM. April Fool's Day is certainly living up to its name.


Dirty Pan

>> Sunday, March 30, 2008

I have a pan that I made potato soup in this week. I scorched the bottom, unfortunately, and now I'm left with a pan that needs some attention. Its soaking now. It has been, dare I admit for how long? (Pause, I'm thinking...) No, I don't think I'll admit that! Anyway, it sits there soaking and then I drain the water out and look it over, give it a little swipe with the dish rag and then put new water in it. I keep hoping that it will miraculously clean itself. Maybe if I sprayed the Scrubbling Bubbles cleaner into it it would -- probably not. I've noticed that even that cleaner doesn't live up to its name. Rats! A little elbow grease is what it needs, I know that. I keep putting off the inevitable. I'm also hoping that someone else will decide to take care of it but I know that's not going to happen!

The pan reminds me of my life. I'm scorched. (Especially now. I have a windburn on my face from the game yesterday!) Life is very messy. I can sit and stew in my grief, hoping that it will get cleaned up all by itself, but, just like the pan, my life needs some elbow grease to get all cleaned up again. But unlike the pan, sitting there waiting patiently for me to clean it up, and me only -- my life does have other help. God is ever-present, waiting for me to ask for help and I have friends who jump in and do whatever they can and faithfully pray for me.

I'll stand by my dirty pan, ummm, maybe tomorrow, and I will wash it, for sure. I'll get in there and scrub at the bottom, bemoaning the fact that I went away from it and let it scorch in the first place. While doing that, I'll think about my life and try not to bemoan the fact that I let some things go during my scorchings. In fact, maybe I'll pray this prayer from Psalm 51:10 instead of bemoaning anything: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Tomorrow is the day to scrub the pot, I'm thinking just maybe tomorrow's the day!


Play Ball!

>> Saturday, March 29, 2008

My son had his first baseball game of the year today. They all played much like the very first game of the year is always played: full of jitters and shivers (its so cold right now in Illinois.) The good news is: they won both games. The bad news, you ask? They were two very long games in cold, windy weather. At least the sun was out. That certainly saved the wimpy fans, I mean, ummm... the parents!

After both teams warmed-up, the umpire shouted, "Play ball!" and the game began. The ball was pitched, swung at or not, caught and thrown. The players hit then ran as fast as they could -- with their eye on the goal -- first base, and if they hit it hard enough, maybe even second and third bases. Although baseball is "just a game" to most, it does teach valuable skills and life-lessons to these high school boys. They learn to have good work ethics. They learn to play together as a team. And they learn that when they mess up, they will get a stern talking to by their coach and possibly have to run after the game.

Life is much like a baseball game. We are born. The doctor smacks us around a bit as if to say, "Play ball!" and life outside the womb begins. Our coach, God the Father, sent His Pinch Hitter, Jesus, into the ball game to make sure that when this life is over, we will have a place to live forever with Him in Heaven. He played the game. The devil thought He lost the game. The devil then found out that he was wrong -- Jesus won the game, hands-down. In fact, it was a ten-run rule!

We need to follow the "manual", the Bible, so that we can play the game the best that we can.

Hebrews 12:2 says this, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

As we attempt to hit the ball, or live our life for Him, lets get out the Manual, the Bible, and study it. When its time, lets swing at that ball with all our might and keep our eyes focused on first base and then second, third, and home as we walk in the Spirit.

"Play ball!"


My Blessings...

>> Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I am blessed. Yes I am. How am I blessed? I guess I will count the ways, by stern command of my dear friend, Vonnie:)

  1. love of God
  2. love for God
  3. personal relationship with God
  4. salvation
  5. future home waiting for me -- Heaven
  6. husband's love
  7. parents's love
  8. children's love
  9. love of friends that God so tenderly and thoughtfully placed in my life, who always point up when I am down
  10. church family
  11. house to live in while on earth
  12. health of my family
  13. a job I enjoy along with enjoyable co-workers
  14. thinking about having the summer off
  15. doctors that truly care for me and want to help me
  16. green grass sprouting after a long winter
  17. relaxing times of watching Nik play baseball
  18. watching our kids grow up, making wise decisions, and doing well
  19. i got to hang out a load of laundry today -- so thankful for the promise of spring!


Dream Stealer

I am experiencing a blip on the computer screen -- a momentary tripping up of my faith. At least I hope it only lasts for a moment. If I am able to let my dreams fly away that easily, I must not be as stubborn as I once thought.

Paul wrote a letter to the Ephesians from prison, one of his many from there. How can I complain about my dreams not coming to pass when I think what Paul's dream was. He desired to preach the Gospel to the Gentiles. He wanted to teach us the "unsearchable riches of Christ." Because he was in prison, it didn't mean he let his dream die. Instead, possibly even more came to Christ because of the dream stealers in his life. He let them have no place in his heart.

Joseph had real dream stealers. His brothers sold him because they weren't happy with the dreams he had. Because of that, God worked powerfully in this young man's life to help a whole nation of people to survive. All the dreams he had, God made sure came about for His glory.

And because of the suffering of Jesus, we can "approach God with freedom and confidence." (Eph. 3:12) The world attempted to cut off Jesus's dream, also. He was attacked to the point of death by dream stealers. His dream would not die either. God used those thieves to work about His plan.

My dreams -- they were brutally ripped from me, thrown to the ground, and trampled this morning. The only problem is, I don't think I let go before the demolition. But, I see, the same thing happened to Paul and to Jesus and to Joseph and to so many in the Bible. Why should I be any different? Why should I be immune to life's challenges?

I sent a friend a rather cryptic message about my experience this morning with dream stealers. She e-mailed me this, "your dreams? No.... they are still there, floating about...just waiting for the right time to light on your palm." It makes me cry even now, to read that. It reminds me that one thing can't be taken away from me. The love God has for me and the friends that He so very carefully put into my life.

Paul prayed this prayer just for me, for this time in 2008, and he prayed this prayer for you,
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:17-21 NIV)

And now I stand here, my arm outstretched, palm up, waiting for my dreams to light back on it as I cry out to my Abba Father.


Where does my help come from?

>> Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A song of ascents.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—He who watches over you will not slumber;"

Psalm 121:1-3 (New International Version)

I have a dream... Well, I do! It is to go to the grand state of Washington this summer on the AmTrack. I looked at the schedule and it would take about four days. Four days of glorious time alone: reading, writing, picking more wildflowers:)

I long to see my good friends, the Wiley's there and Marita, of course. Maybe even have a stop-over in Idaho to see my good friend Kerry who also has IH. That would be a dream come true for sure. We've been friends for a couple of years now. She is blind from her IH and has lots of other health problems. She said she has a room all ready for me.

Oh, I forgot, Chrissy, my friend from Australia will meet me there. We will have lots of good fun. I just have to get there, though. Chrissy's husband has offered to pay $100 of my ticket to help make it happen. He is most generous. He knows how we both long to meet each other face-to-face.

"Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." If it is His will and His plan for my life to get there, then I have NO doubts it will happen.



>> Monday, March 24, 2008

My most pleasant memory, from a sixth grade outlook, was when I got baptized. I can prove it. I found a writing assignment while rummaging through piles of papers:

"My most pleasant memory that I can remember (Ha, how redundant is that?) is when I got baptized. I hope you know what that is like. It was in my home church in Danville, Illinois. I can remember how scary it was when I got up in front of those people that I knew. I had known most of them since I was little. Afterwards I felt like I was perfect, but after living awhile, I knew God was the only perfect One. I think being baptized is the most pleasant a memory there is."

Looking backwards, I would say that I was right. Being baptized is a very good memory. But now I have life experiences to add to that. I have my years of living with God and walking in the Spirit. I have my marriage and my children that now rank right up there in good memories. Of course my friends are near the top of the list, too.

No matter what we go through in this life, we can be assured that God is in control and knows what our future will be.

Revelation 1:7, "Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen. 8"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.""

Our future is Heaven. Being taken up with Him will be our last, most pleasant memory. We look up and wait expectantly and then we get busy again, doing whatever it is that He has for us to do, but ever looking up and creating more memories..


Mondays Moanings;)

Ruth starts her chemo treatment in a few hours. Please pray for her. It is a very anxious time right now for the whole family.

This is the second official day of our Easter break. Of course, I began a week early, but we won't talk about that! It is good I have this week off, too. I am extremely weak.

Nik is supposed to have his first baseball game today. The others have gotten cancelled. Hopefully this one does, too. There is snow on the ground! Oh no! Looks like it will be one COLD game! Been through that before but I'm a year older now! Getting harder and harder! Funny!

Kristen grumbled her way out the door this morning to one of her babysitting jobs. I think she's getting really tired of going all the time. She has a cold, too, and she won't be happy until she gives it to me. I now have a sore throat. I've went all winter without getting a cold. GRRRR!

Still feeling pretty good but I can't do much before I get knocked down again. Am taking it very easy but I must be ready for school next Monday.

Guessing I'll stop moaning now! You can leave your moanings for me in a comment!


Sundays Surprise!

>> Sunday, March 23, 2008

Matthew 28 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Matthew 28

1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

The Guards' Report 11While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. 12When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, 13telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.' 14If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble." 15So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.

The Great Commission 16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


Saturday's Satire

>> Saturday, March 22, 2008

One would think that feeling better would be the best thing in the world. Don't know why it scares me so much to be feeling like this. I guess it is knowing that it is only temporary.

My friend Shirley IM'd me today and told me this, "instead of being afraid and depressed.. enjoy today and the relief, otherwise you lose the opportunity to enjoy the moment by fearing the future... tomorrows pain is stealing todays relief and joy."

That is very good advice from a very good friend and that is what I will attempt to do.

Matthew 6:25-34, The Message

25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.


What a Good Friday!

>> Friday, March 21, 2008

I am home! Yea! Got a little bit more sleep, not nearly enough, but I have the rest of the day. Beckie, my dear FW friend, is AMAZING! We've only met 2 times before this and she reached out to me in a truly Godly way. So unnatural. I'm sure the world would not understand it.

She made me laugh -- ask her about the bread, if you ever email her:) or see her around the hinting thread:) LOL! She had me giggling and she also raised my bp I do believe! During the worst of it, she held my hand and stroked my head. Also, during the tapping she was right there, even being as squirmish as she is. She is an amazing friend.

We had a day full of mishaps BUT the trip was wonderful. We talked and the traffic was so light, she said it was like her Peoria traffic. We ate a great lunch and then waited... and waited... and waited... then we got to the room and waited... Well, you get it, right? Only to be told the nurse practitioner can NOT do what I asked over and over again if she could. GRRR!! We were sent over to the ER where we waited... and waited... and waited...

I finally got to a bed, thankfully, and we had lots of x-rays and then, finally the shunt was tapped. My pressure was higher than it is set for but not really too high. My body seems to want a lower pressure than what my shunt is set up for. That is really frustrating to me but alas, that is a different story.

I had 3 different pain medicines in me, enough to knock out a horse, and nothing touches my pain. Hopefully this tapping will give me some relief for a bit to start feeling better and being able to handle the pain once again.

I had a God-thing happen to me, imagine that! I was sitting, minding my own business, in the waiting room, and a very beautiful young woman comes sits beside me. I bent my head to her and told her we were certainly the minority, trying to make small talk and she told me that her husband was refusing treatment and was leaving. This she said with tears in her eyes. And then she left me.

Beckie thought I was crazy but I felt like God plopped this woman into my lap, so of course, I chased her down. Her husband hobbled outside the ER and they both had a tussle. I talked to the security guard and she went out to watch. (I didn't, you'll be happy to know)

When they came back in, I talked to this woman. She was from Russia, she and her husband both. He had broken his leg sometime during the day and had refused to leave work. He works at University of Chicago somewhere. She thought he was probably in shock. We talked a bit and I told her that my friend and I would pray for her. I also told her to come sit with us if she wanted.

Later she did come over. Beckie adopted a little girl, Lana, from a place close to Russia:) Won't even try to spell it. She whipped a picture out of her billfold so fast it made my head spin. Oh, it already was spinning, but anyway, she had a picture of dear Lana ready! Such a proud mama she is!

Thankfully I was called to a room. I gave Daria a hug and she kissed me on the cheek. I probably will never ever see her again and will never know what her beliefs are or if she is a Christian or how her husband did that night -- but I know for sure that I was in that ER for a reason. God set me up so it is kind of hard to be upset about the situation. Would you please pray for this young woman named Daria? Thank you...

What I do feel really guilty about is the amount of time Beckie devoted to me, almost 24 hours. She spent much time reassuring me that all is well. She was more concerned with getting me treated. She is an awesome friend. I only hope others have friends half as good as this woman!

On the way home we stopped at a gas station and shared the most awesome warm brownie bites. I would say, that was the highlight of the trip -- that and our God-encounter. Those two and of course, all the time we had to visit. I can still think of a million other things I wished we had time to talk about.

I need to thank EVERYONE for praying for us. It is amazing how many called, left messages, left emails with others trying to find out information... I really feel loved and cared for.

I also came home to a bunch of cards from one of our classes at the high school and from the teachers. That was very nice. I suppose it means I might still have a job:) I'm still waiting to see what the results are. I've gotten very little sleep so hopefully I'll know better when I get caught up. I would say my head feels clearer. Not so foggy anymore. I pray it stays this way for a bit.

Thank you everyone!

I forgot something: Seema from our FW board asked if her church could do a prayer quilt for me. Wow! How humbled I am that she would think of me. I do feel extremely loved and cared for!


Thursday's Thoughts...

>> Thursday, March 20, 2008

Well now, didn't think I could think of a good name for Thursday. Maybe it isn't such a good name, maybe a little lame. Oh well...

Jim is getting a vehicle ready for me to take. He's more worried about me driving it than Beckie. How insulting is that? I wouldn't do it if I didn't think I could. I do know my limits, usually. Well, sometimes... Hmmm... I'll let it go at that and hope that everyone prays:) I'm just teasing. No, I've learned to know my limits. I'll be fine. Really.

We are leaving from Beckie's house at 9:30. My appointment is at 1:30. Hopefully all goes well and we are out of there quickly. I have so many of you that wished you could take me. You all warm my heart, you really do.

Well, I'll be back this evening. Praying for all of you today.


Wednesday's Whisperings...

>> Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I slept in today. Didn't even call off work. I am totally away from reality. ARGH!

Today I need to make calls. Dr. K has been so good to me. He and his nurse called me several times yesterday to see how I was doing and to tell me what the neurosurgeon said.

Well, Peoria doesn't want me. I feel so very un-loved:) I wanted my choices narrowed, so I guess that is happening. I am now waiting to hear from a call from Chicago. They see big $$$$ when my name comes up. I seem to be a hard case, for some reason. argh! argh!

Sweet Beckie offered to take me to Chicago. She must be out of her mind -- driving in Chicago traffic? Oh my! I am very touched that she would offer. I am hoping that things work out that Jim will be able to do it. If I have to wait until next week, I will do that. As long as I know I will get relief soon, I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

And Wednesday continues, with or without me... school goes on... not to be missed... guess that's a good thing!
New News:

Tomorrow Beckie and I are going to Chicago. She has most graciously offered to take me and I humbly accepted. I will be forever grateful to this new friend of mine. The plan is to have my shunt drained off and hopefully get relief.


Humor for Lexophiles (Lover of Words)

>> Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'Taint mine.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.


Teetering on Tuesday

Not sure how Tuesday is going to shape up:) I am in bed, so dizzy and headachey, and did I mention? -- Frustrated! Hopefully I will get lots of sleep in and tomorrow will be a much better day. Hoping and praying so...


Little fishie in a big tank...

>> Monday, March 17, 2008

This is me, in a BIG fish tank, feeling like a little fishie. All I want to do is swim to the top, belly-side up but I have these goofy friends that insist on pushing me back down into the water.

I see these big fingers coming at me, pushing me down -- tickling me in the process.

I also see satan with his fish net wanting to scoop me out and flush me down the toilet.

The battle beteeen finger and net begins...



Ruth is still in the hospital. Not sure when she will be getting out but at least she is now getting some help.

My Monday did not go as planned. Ended up spending it with school nurse and then family doctor and then had an MRI. Lots were praying for me when they didn't even know what was going on. That is really being connected through the Holy Spirit!

I am extremely tired. Have managed to sleep almost the whole time I've been home.
Thinking I should stay home tomorrow. Only hope things get better, though. I can't just stay home for long.

Thank you so much for praying!


Local FaithWriter Friends:)

>> Sunday, March 16, 2008

I have met a local FaithWriter friend! I was so excited to have been able to find Beckie. I know God sent me right to her on the FW website and then just waited and watched me as my curiosity got the best of me and I went after her! She had written on a challenge article about a church they were ministering in, at Central Illinois of all places! Of course, that got me going and I was hot on her trail:) Poor lady. Her life hasn't been the same since. LOL!

We've since met. Jim and I went to their church. It was a nice day for a drive and the service was GREAT! We both loved the opportunity to meet Beckie and Joe. And then, Beckie traveled to me and went to a Ladies' Program at our church. We had great fun.

Of course, I'm really bad about wanting my friends to know each other. A character flaw, I suppose! I paired Beckie up with Judy, who ends up living very close to her. I am so jealous:) They got to meet at Starbucks already. They have met and are fast friends now. So jealous... Anyway, we are all three going to meet the first of April. I am sooo excited!

Beckie is also coming to know a few other FW friends because I'm an endless matchmaker of friends. See, it doesn't have to be male/female. I'm a matchmaker of all kinds!

Judy called me last night to give me some encouragement. I feel like I know her so well already, just from sharing e-mails and reading her writings. God is so good to put such special women in my life. I am very grateful. I'm especially grateful to find fellow writers in my area so that we can keep each other going in our interest.


Fishy Wishes...

I have a friend, Marita, who wrote last week to me on IM, "If wishes were fishes...". We were daydreaming about once and for all being able to meet each other face-to-face. If wishes were fishes, I would be in Washington right now, visiting with her, sitting in church praising and worship alongside my dear friend, Mari:)

If wishes were fishes I would have a teleportation machine. I would go and pick up all of my friends, all around the world, and bring them together so we could talk, laugh, cry, and OH yes! Hug! Hug! Hug! A teleportation machine that would cause no dizziness whatsoever. It would be a smooth ride.

I would also, if wishes were fishes, take away the pain that my many friends suffer every day.

Lord God, please be with my friend right now that won't let me say her name:) Take away her pain and the unncertainty of her life.

Be with Dee as she struggles to find answers to her health issues.

To my dear friends, Amy and Janelle, be with them as they strive to finish college. Help them to keep pressing on. Help them to do the very best they can and help them to fulfill all the dreams You have put in their hearts.

I pray for Holly that you will be with her everyday in her dark world. Help it to be full of light in every other way. She is so full of joy! Help us all to learn from this dear young friend.

I pray for my friend Patty. Help us to meet soon. We really don't live that far away from each other. Thank You that she is so faithful to me, to pull me along when I can hardly do it myself.

There are all my Faithwriter friends who are so very special. Please be with each one (Jo, Yvonne, Beth, Laura, Verna, Deb, Shirley, Josh... Father, there are just too many to list.) There are so many and all so special and all bring different things into my life. Be with each one and bless their writing. Help us all to write for Your glory, I pray.

My friends here at home, the ones I love and adore, please be with them. We don't get to see one another much but when we do its like no time has passed whatsoever. Please be with Becky, Laurie, Denise, Ann Marie, Linda, and Dixie. There are so many more in my life also. So many... too many to list.

Also, my friends at school, the ones that have to put up with me and my groggy self everyday -- please be with them (Gina, Heather, Sherith, Laura, Jennifer, Judy, Mitchi, Kristin, Kathy, Dana and so many more!) Bless them, Lord, and if they don't know You, I pray that they will soon. Help me to be a light in our high school pointing all to You and Your glory, beauty, and faithfulness!

What are your wishes? Want to share your fishy wishes with me?



Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

I can’t go to sleep, Daddy…

Laying here on my back, I search
The Heavens, looking for comfort.

I feel Your arms around me,
Stroking my cheek, pushing aside
The hair from my face.

You look deep into my eyes,
Yes, I see you, Daddy.
I feel you gently rocking me,
Slowing my mind, preparing me for sleep.

Suddenly, I feel myself being swept up,
Like a baby in her Father’s arms,
You raise me above Your head.
I giggle and wait in anticipation.
You smile and throw me into the air.

I suck in my breath from excitement.
Among the tree tops, that’s where I fly.
The air is sweet and crisp.
My head clears and I feel no pain.
Landing softly into Your waiting arms,
I beg, “Again, again. Do it again!”

When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.

Deep love permeates from Your touch.
You laugh with me as You toss me once again.
I squeal in delight and pretend to fly.
Then something catches my eye
I look and my eyes turn from Your face.
I begin to flail my arms and grab at anything within reach.

I scream, “Daddy! Where are You?”
I free-fall, all alone
I look in terror as the ground gets closer and closer.
I manage to grab hold of a branch
I feel secure for now, this moment in time.
I hold on but my arms begin to tire.
Snap! Pop!
I’m left holding the branch as I tumble down once again.
But I hear Your Voice calling to me.

“I’m here. Just fall into My arms,” You whisper.
I close my eyes and brace myself for the impact.
A gentle thud is all I feel.

I open my eyes and see Your smile.
Not angry, You rock me and I nestle in Your embrace.

I finally fall to sleep as You sway me gently back and forth.


My Daddy's Arms

The sun peeked in through the drawn curtains, waking me from a restless slumber. I roused myself off the couch, where I had finally dropped off to sleep. Five hours is not much to rejuvenate this tired body. I whispered a prayer, “Another day You have made – Lord, will you please help me rejoice in it?”

I did my everyday morning activities. Meanwhile, the critter, the varmint that grabs hold of me every single day, latched on, attaching itself to my head and squeezed with all its might, with its two paws. I said, “You’re not welcome here today, Old Pain.”

The life-sucking varmint cried out, “I deeeelight in causing you pain, my Pprreeettttyyyyy. Just try to do your tasks today. I will torment and cajole you until you run back home, screaming for me to let go.”

“Not today,” I cried, “Be gone, in Jesus’ Name.”

“Boogertiboo – I have my talons in YOU!”

I gave in, head down, having lost the fight once again. I spilled out my morning medicines into my hand and swallowed the colorful variety in one gulp. I trudged out the door, splashing through the squishy wet yard and climbed into my van to drive to work.

I turned the key and music automatically filled the space. Lifting one hand to Heaven, I belted out songs of praise, certainly making a joyful noise. For a time, the varmint fled, knowing that the van ride to school was not the place for it.

But occasionally it would return, in spite of the music. Offering me an out, it would whisper in my ear, “You could end the pain now. It would appear as an accident.”The blatant wickedness from this ugly varmint caused me to tremble. I shook my head to break up the thoughts that sought to ravage my mind. I continued on with my drive, calling out to my God to keep me safe, and to keep others on the road safe from me.

Making it to work, I walked down the corridors, teens coming at me on all sides. Lightheaded, I grabbed for the wall. The critter, the pesky varmint had found me once again. It affixed itself onto my head, poking its grimy fingers into my ears. It made them ring. I wanted to fall to the ground to stop the world from moving at such a dizzying pace, but I didn’t. I continued on. I trudged, barely picking my feet up off the floor. I got to my destination, God led me there.

I did my work, but had to force myself to do these things I love. I smiled; I said I’m fine. Meanwhile, the varmint stepped up the attack. It worked its way into my body and caused my heart to race and my blood pressure to skyrocket. My face grew red and hot to the touch.

I let it win every time. For some reason, God was allowing this creature the freedom to harass me. Or was I allowing it? I finally gave up, but I couldn’t run fast enough or far enough. It clung to me – screeching in my ear – delighting in my pain, delighting in my discomfort, delighting in my desperation.

“God help me!” I got home and crawled into bed, tucking my blanket to my neck. Tears formed in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “I can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried to be faithful, tried to learn what You’ve been teaching me. Can it be over yet, Lord, please?”

A soft IM chime came from my laptop. It was my friend Shirley.

“Braeden asked me who I was writing to. I told him it was my friend Laury, and that you get bad headaches. He said, ‘Mommy, can I pray for her?’ Laury, he’s standing here praying for you right now.”

The varmint cringed in fright as a seven-year-old stormed the Gates of Hell. It howled and stomped its feet. It turned purple and steam flowed out its ears. The varmint then threw itself on the floor: shaking, writhing, and twisting itself into strange contortions. I smiled while watching this creature in pain for once. I whispered, “Jesus. And then I said it louder, Jesus!”

Heaviness was lifted off me. I laughed aloud as I watched the varmint let out an ear-piercing scream and fly out the window.

“Shirley, tell my small prayer warrior ‘thank you.’ I’m going to sleep. I know I’ll be able to rest easy in my Daddy’s arms now.”

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