The Pole Dance:)

>> Friday, May 1, 2009

I can see everyone either quickly by-passing this entry or eyes glued to the screen - POLE DANCING? LOL. Oh boy. But that's exactly what I've been doing since Tuesday afternoon. I've been doing the pole dance. If anyone has spent any time in a hospital, you of course have done the pole dance, too. The i.v. pole goes everywhere you go such as the bathroom, well, only the bathroom because that's usually as far as we feel like going or maybe up and down the busy, narrow hallways.

The pole gets tripped over. The tubing winds itself around and under the beautiful backless gown so that you're doing the hula to fix yourself. You also do the chachacha as you dance the pole around the floor to free the tubing from under or around the stand. I'm sure, after this visit, I could dance with the stars. Not to say that I wouldn't get disqualified, but I could, maybe, dance with the stars. Maybe? Okay, you're right.

It also makes you feel like an astronaut being tethered to the mother ship as you make that space walk. And you can only go as far as the tether will allow. Unless of course they unplug the pole from the wall and then you're free as a bee until it starts beeping because it's out of battery and no one else in the whole hospital hears it and you just can't stand it anymore so you climb out of bed, grab the tubing, so it doesn't get tripped over, grab the cord, move the dresser, bend over and around the bed, and then stick it in the socket. Of course, in all fairness to the hospital staff, all I had to do was push the red button and someone would have plugged it in for me - but, oh well.

Oh yes, by the time I leave here I'll be able to give pole dance lessons. I wonder how much I can charge. Maybe they should hire me on at the hospital to teach new patients, you think? Okay, never mind. But I'm sure others could learn from my experience. Maybe I'll leave a set of written instructions hanging from the pole. Oh, I know - I can leave a pattern on the floor. All the patient would have to do is follow the foot prints. Now that, my friends, is an excellently... awful idea, I know. Okay.

So whatever. Maybe pole dancing isn't for the faint of heart. I'll accept my God-given talent with both pride and humility. But maybe - just maybe one of you wants to buy your own i.v. pole for home, to - you know - okay, never mind. But it is an idea. Maybe I'll market the new dance on the home shopping channel and then... I better go copyright my idea before I write anything more.

But anyway, I'm getting quite good at the pole dance but will be more than ready to leave it behind, that and the iv stuck inside my wrist. No, pole dancing is definitely not for the faint of heart but you know what? Maybe I shouldn't say. Well, okay, my husband never reads my blogs anyway - but my dad does. Oh well. Here goes - I met an especially cute guy nurse that can take over teaching the pole dance lessons. Rodsters his name, nursing is his game.

Okay, kidding aside, University of Chicago is THE best. I just love the nurses and the assistants and the staff. All of them are so helpful and friendly. And with me so far from home with no visitors, they make me laugh and become family while I'm here. Oh- I know - I could do a commercial for the University of Chicago - I could drum up lots of business for them by explaining about the pole dance, you think? Okay. Never mind. But anyway- this hospital is THE BEST and the pain clinic has me on some really good medicine that's making me feel the best I have in a long time. (Can you tell? Oh boy)

Maybe my surgeon, the great Dr. David Frimm, had something to do with that, too, of course. We must give credit where credit is due. He told me to trust him so that I did and now we will wait and trust. But mostly I trust in my God who is the great promise fulfiller. He is the One I put my complete faith and trust in and He's the one that shines through these people's faces as they live and breathe their work here in the heart of city of Chicago.

So I will close out my blog entry with a last song and dance... Aren't you glad I don't Youtube? Ha ha. I am so very funny today. Boy is this pain medicine GOOD:) Actually, it's not real strong medicine, it's just me feeling good again. Here I go - hospital gown on body and i.v. pole in hand -no, wait a minute - am I done up in back? Don't want to give THAT kind of show. Okay. Ready. Cha cha cha!!!!

P.S. I just got back from walking the pole and it is with a humble heart that I write this. I stubbed my toe on the thing, I tripped, and when I got back I was all wound up and couldn't figure out how to unwind it AND I just about had to push the red HELP button. This was REALLY serious! But anyway... cha cha cha!!! I'm good now:)

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