Light of Christmas

I've been noticing lots of new Christmas songs this year. Some are based from old, traditional songs but some are completely new.  I sleep with our Christian radio station in my ear, WCIC. I woke up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and this was playing.  I loved it - even that early in the morning and had to find out what it was.  Owl City and Toby Mac teamed up to do this.  It's a visual extravaganza and it has a message we need to hear in this busy Christmas season.  Your kids will love it! I want to find the Veggie Tales movie it was created for. I hope you enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

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Two New Loves

Since I turned 50, I've developed different loves in my life.

These are the people I love and the things 

I have loved and continue to love:

I "love the Lord 'my' God with all 'my' heart and with all 'my' soul and with all 'my' mind and with all 'my' strength.' (Mark 12:30)

I love my husband and I will continue to love him until 'death us do part. It's not always easy and it's not always easy for him to put up with me, I'm sure of that - but we are in it for the long haul. I know, even if I forget to put gas in the car and I run out and he has to come get me - it's a forever love.  Even if I spend too much money on something like, let's say, ummmm...a bike - it's still a forever love.  We don't show it the same as we did when we were first married but it's more mature now and I like it.

I really love my kids - Ryan, Kristen, and Nik and Kristen has brought Jordan into the family and I'm loving him too.

Of course, I love my parents and brothers and sisters and Jim's family and always will.

I love love LOVE my job and the people and kids I work with. It makes it so much easier to get up each morning.

Okay, well - now that I've turned 50 - 

I have two more loves to add to my list.  

I have a cutie little grandson who I get to love on...lots! I'm so blessed to have him only live about two hours away. 

It's amazing, this connection I have with the little guy! He's six weeks old and 8#. He's growing slowly but I know it's just a matter of time before he shoots up and I'll be wondering where the little baby went. Already, I just missed one weekend and he's smiling a lot and staying awake more.

I love being a grandma! Honestly, it's way better than I ever thought it would be.

The next love in my life, my kids don't understand. I barely understand it.  I LOVE riding my bike! I'll get home from school, grab a Medifast bar and some water, and then I'll take off to parts unknown. I rarely go the same way twice. I keep finding new roads to explore. It is fun to finally find an exercise that I love to do - that I LONG to do.  It also draws me closer to God as I experience His creation.

I've lost 40 plus pounds now since July and I am changing - from the inside out.  Medifast has been the vehicle to help me lose the weight and has given me the energy to hop on my bike and go GO GO!!! Even Medifast was appointed to me by God and is a story in and of itself.

Since I started riding the last of July, I've logged 379 miles - my longest was done at the Prairie Pedal - 42 miles at one time.  I'm on my second bike. I didn't realize when I bought my first bike that I would want one I could ride for long periods of time.  Last weekend, I chose a bike that would let me do just that and since then, I've put 91 miles on it.  You see, I LOVE it!  And I'm not quite sure what drew me to it except maybe it was God.

So you see, now that I'm 50, I have some things figured out a little bit better.  I'm getting this eating thing down and I'm losing weight and exercising. I am living life to the fullest and loving hard and strong!

I'm loving being 50!  
LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

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Grandma

I am now officially a grandma!

People told me how great it was and I knew it would be but this little guy has totally and completely rearranged our lives and rooted into our hearts. How can a 6 lb, 5 oz little guy do that in such a short time?

But this is one of the first scenes we came across when we realized Kaden was born and in the nursery. A group was gathered around him. He was certainly popular.

He was wide-eyed and looked right at us. I'm pretty sure he was trying to figure out which one of us was brave enough to get him out of there!

He was whisked away from the only people he truly knew, his mama and daddy, and taken to a bigger hospital for further help.  He finally got to come home a week later.

All Kaden's tests looked good but the doctor said she can't guarantee what will show up in the future.  Of course not.  We just want him home now and the future will take care of itself.

The best thing is, he is beautiful - a miracle - and I'm proud to wear the label - Grandma.

It was hard for Kaden to figure out the nursing dilemma.  Hard to go from bottle to something different.  The poor little guy doesn't even know what normal is yet.  His whole life has been crazy so far. Within a couple of hours, he got to ride in a helicopter. How many of us ever get to do that?

Kaden has his first doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm anxious to see how much weight he's gained since he's been nursing. I'm not worried though. If peeing and pooping is any indication - he's doing just fine:)

Today is Grandparent's Day and we got to spend some time with our little sweet pea.  Not much but just long enough for me to get wet on. Just enough time for me to get my Kaden fix. All's good. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my daughter had a baby. Surely she's not old enough! Can't be! Surely I'm not old enough to be a grandma! Can't be!

This 50 year old stuff is turning out to be pretty awesome! 

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Half Century

It's pretty weird to think I've been alive for fifty years now - a half century. I don't feel much different than I did when I was a teenager, if I can ignore the aches and pains. But when I look in the mirror, my hair isn't the original color - I'm not even sure I can remember what it used to be.  Now if I let it go, it would be white.

I have the same eyes - bright blue. My skin isn't too different if I ignore the wrinkles. I wasn't even aware I had so many until a teen from school took some up-close pictures of me yesterday. Scary!

When I look into the pre-teen Laury's eyes, I wonder if she had any idea she would ever be 50? A 50 year old woman working with special needs kids in a high school? That wasn't my plan. Did she know she would move to Tabor, IL and meet and marry the cute guy next door? I wonder what she would have thought of that? I wonder what she would have thought of the three kids she would have? I know I thought of my future husband and kids but it was distant, not real.

Who would think that in my 50th year I would be a grandma? That my youngest son would be so very independent so young? That my oldest would be almost 30? Now that's really weird!

These 50 years have been full and happy but not without pain. I'm hoping the next 50 will be much better.

"Consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim liberty throughout 

the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you;"  Leviticus 25:10

I proclaim this year - my 50th - to be my jubilee year. I've already started to eat healthier, to exercise, and to lose weight. I'm giving this year and every year to God. He navigates me through life much better than I can do it. I get too many bumps and bruises when I attempt it without Him. There are so many unknowns but God knows so I'm not going to worry. 

I wonder how many years I have left on this earth? 20? 30? 40? 1? Maybe a day? I know I'm ready, no matter how long. This half century year is going to be the best one yet - I just know it! 

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The Freak

I do stupid stuff. Like just now. That was a stupid sentence I wrote, but true. I do stupid things all the time. And it's one thing I do consistently. One thing I'm very reliable at. One thing you can depend on me for.  Stupidity. Not in everything. Maybe not even anymore than anyone else. Okay, so can I say that we all major in stupidity at one time or another?

I've heard some people say they would like to go back in time to fix things; a do-over. I've thought about it quite a bit and my conclusion is this:  I honestly think, if I were to go back in time, to the same age, faced with the same decisions, I would do things the same way or maybe mess things up even more. Let's say at age 16. Could we really make a good, rational decision, a different one than we made the first time? And if we did do things different, think how much might be changed down through our history. Hmmm...

You may ask why I'm so philosophical this most warm, summery day. No, it's not from reading Lisa Mikitarian's blog too much, although that might do it! Actually, it's from watching one of the 2012 Oscar Nominated Short Live Action Films, The Freak. All of the nominations are showing on the Starz channel right now. I think you'll enjoy this clip.

Interesting concept. This poor guy tried to get things right for eleven years before his friend intervened. He got one thing right finally, but then there was something else, always something else. It was driving him insane! He was stuck in a time warp continuum of sorts, of his own making, of course. He wanted to get life perfect. Who can do perfect? Who wants to do perfect?

Funny thing is, we don't have to BE perfect. We don't have to DO perfect. God accepts us for who we are...for what we do. He loves us just because. It's that word called GRACE! Grace - God finds favor with us even though we don't deserve it. I sure don't deserve it. He looks at me, at us, with love, not contempt. When I look in the mirror, I see every imperfection I have. When God looks, He sees what I will be.

"We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!" -  1 Corinthians 13:12 The Message

We need to be the best we can be, of course, while we are on earth. We need to strive to be the healthiest we can be. Eat healthy because our body is God's house. With our body, we should be spending time with God; praising Him; telling others about Him and that He is coming soon! But you know, God doesn't expect perfection from us. He knows we aren't going to get it right all the time. He is in the business of forgiveness. I'm sure glad about that.

My pastor, Greg Taylor, shared a story about grace this past Sunday. There was a college class preparing for an exam that morning. Some sat confident, having already studied all night long. Others were doing last minute cramming. When the professor came in, he told them to keep the tests face down until every one got one. When he told the class to turn their tests over, I can imagine the silence; and then the murmuring; and then the hands slowly, one-by-one being raised. This professor had taken the test for them. All the answers were filled in. He even had their individual names on each test. Every one received an A, no matter what grade they were currently getting in the class. A. He then asked them if they deserved that grade. Of course they didn't. They didn't take the test. He just taught them the word grace in action. He gave them a life lesson they will never forget.

That's the way God did it. He already had Jesus take the test for us. Because of Him, we don't have to keep re-doing when we get things wrong. We don't need to beat ourselves up. Time machines are fun to think about but really aren't needed, or even practical. I sure did like that short film though. If you can, I would recommend you watch it. Good stuff!

I can't wait until the fog clears and I can see things clearly. It won't be long now. Jesus is coming soon. Come, Lord Jesus, come!

P.S. As I was studying/reading for this blog post, things got a little cloudy in my mind. I think I'm good now though, thanks to a quick FB pm to/from Greg. So, part two will be another day.

Until then...

Laury

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Hello, My Name Is...

Hello, my name is Laury. That's me to the left. Wasn't I cute in my glory days? Not a care in the world. All the cares were left to my young parents. You see,  I'm the daughter of Larry and Dixie Holman. They were married at a very young age: 17 and 16. A year later they had this cute little bundle of joy.

The year I was born, 1963, JFK was assassinated. I don't remember that, of course, but I know it was a major event. The 60's were pretty eventful but my parent's kept me safe.  They sheltered me.  They took me to church and I grew up knowing about God and when I was in grade school, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

But...as time goes on, things weren't as simple as they were when I was young and sheltered by my daddy.  I was out in the world and started making my own decisions. I'd say I haven't done too bad.

I got married to the guy next door, Jim.  We moved right smack in between our two parent's houses.  I remember my little sister coming over and asking if Jim could come out and play. That was a long time ago.  Seasons have come and gone.  Those little sisters and brother all ended up living with us at one time or another.  They chose a rougher road than I did.  Weird that we all grew up in that same home with the same parents.

In the course of time, we moved across the road and then we moved back across to where we live now.  Jim has NEVER EVER been out of this little place called Tabor.  We raised and kicked out of the nest three kids: Ryan, Kristen, and last but not least, Nik. They're okay as far as kids go.  Just kidding. We love them lots and think they're the best.  And now Kristen is married and starting to raise up her own little family.  Funny how life continues to multiply...

All that is behind me now.  I'm in a new phase.  Let me introduce myself.

Hello, my name is:

Now that's the problem.  I don't quite know who or what I am anymore.  The kids are gone.  The whole upstairs is empty.  Just Jim and I here and this summer, I'm alone all day long.  So weird.  Alone.  I love it.  I hate it.  I got pregnant right away after we were married so we really didn't have much time to be just us.

Our whole married lives were centered around our kids and their schedules.  
Now, suddenly...it's not.

During all this transitioning, I had a hysterectomy which helped lots of my emotional problems I was having but still...not all.  I wake up some days and wonder who exactly am I?  I deduce that I am me, whoever me is.  But who is me?

Hello, my name is:

• Lost
• Broken
• Fat
• Lazy
• Stupid
• Untalented
• Friendless
• Lonely
• Unmotivated

Should I go on?

I've had so many things knock me down.  I get back up only to get knocked down.  I try to remember the word is MENOPAUSE but it's still hard.  STILL HARD.  HARD.  And they are all names that satan wants me to call myself, not God.  Those names are all lies. God calls me His child.

God calls me Child of the One True King.

I think every woman can relate to Matthew West's song, My Name Is.  Just like my daddy took care of me and held me with such love in that picture above, God lavishes love on me.  He watches out for me every second unlike my earthly father could or can.  And He knows what's going on in my body and allows me to get help and I have.

And now, as I'm trying to lose weight AGAIN, after I don't know how many times I lose it and then gain it back, I know satan is going to whisper in my ear those words -

You can't do this - Quitter.

But I have to.  I have to be ready.  Stand strong.  Remember who I am.  What my name is.  And when the going gets tough.... I need to remember who I am:

Hello my name is:

Child of the one true King!

What's your name?

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See, I am doing a new thing!

Today starts my new journey.  I was approached about trying Medifast and I accepted the challenge - for 30 days, at least.  I've known for about a week now and during this time, I've been reading up on their website and on the foods.  I've also been eating up all the contraband in the house.  Last night, I had my 'last pizza.' On the 4th, we went to DQ and I had my 'last blizzard.'  It's really pathetic how I'm thinking.  It's a good thing my order came finally, because I'm to the point now where the 'lasts' keep coming up and it's getting really old -I'm so done.  I'm ready to forge on ahead to a healthier body. I'm eating more now than I regularly eat just because I know I won't be able to soon.  See?

Pa-the-tic!

While I waited, I Googled other women's blogs about their weight loss journeys with Medifast.  I'm not sure that was a good idea because now I'm scared.  Some were encouraging.  Some weren't.  That's to be expected, I suppose.  But at least every blog I read said the food was good.  That's the most important thing.  The foods must be good.  :)  I have to be on my own though, for one meal a day.  The lean and green meal.  That's a little scary.  I think the easiest will be to just do the meat and the vegetables at first.  Basic.  That's the plan.

That's my food order.  It came yesterday when Nik was home.  He wasn't impressed.  He's trying to gain weight.  Oh to be young and thin.  Sigh...  I can do this.  I have great willpower when I want it.  When I'm challenged.  I can always rise to a challenge.

I've lost weight in the past but then life happens and I turn to food to get myself through it.  That is a very dumb thing to do and it doesn't help.  All it does is make me feel bad about myself and make my body feel very out of whack.  I'm going to be 50 in August.  Oh my!  That's next month.  Wow!  Okay.  Now is as good a time as any to start moving forward on many things in my life, not just food.

In order to do that, move forward I mean, I have to let God be in control of every part of my life.  Last night a portion of a verse was floating in my mind and I found it.  I'm claiming it this month as mine.  To stand on.  To hold onto, even as the wind blows and tries to knock me off course.

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland." --  Isaiah 43:18, 19 NIV

Mari did such a good job on my blog header that it still fits my life after all this time.  On this new phase on my journey, I will need lots and lots of patience, strength, a great deal of hope and courage to continue on when I want to quit.  So here goes!  The journey has started...

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One nation, divisible...

I'm cleaning my oven right this second while I sit comfortably on my couch, laptop where it should be: on my lap. I'm really glad I was born here in the United States and in this century.

Self-cleaning ovens, washing machines & dryers, dishwashers. Do I need to continue?

Running water. Pure, clean. We don't have to search for it with jars balanced on our heads. Oh! Air conditioning! A car or two to drive us where we want/need to go to allow us to buy what we want/need.

Have you ever wondered why us? Why were we born here? Privileged. Middle-class citizens. Even our homeless have it better than most of the world. Why us? Why the United States? And the scary question...how much longer will it continue?




In God we trust? Do we? Does our President? Do we as a nation still trust our God? How much longer before God takes His hand of protection off of us as a whole?

Even googling our Pledge of Allegiance, there is a discrepancy. 

Change is in the air. 

One nation - indivisible...

in·di·vis·i·ble  

Not divisible; unable to be divided or separated.

Okay...So God is being taken out of the equation...just 'one nation, indivisible'...and we are far, far from the the definition. So...if the powers that be want to change the Pledge of Allegiance and take God out, let's call it like it is..."one nation, divisible,' because that is certainly what we are.

It's scary, and yet, right now I'm still glad to live here. Honestly. I get chills and goosebumps when I hear the Star Spangled Banner. When something horrendous happens, we all ban together to help each other and...Pray! When things get bad, we pray. So deep down, I still think this is a nation under God, indivisible. 

We're not completely gone...not yet anyway. 

I'm not a political person. I'm just a citizen of the United States of America. I love my country. I want to see it prosper. It needs to so we can help other countries. I'm so thankful for all I have and what we have as a nation, and I'm also a little ashamed and embarrassed too, when I see the desperate need of others. 

So...as my oven finishes up cleaning itself, and I close this post , I'll pray for our government, and we, the people will do as God tells us:

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." -- (James 4:7-10 NIV)

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Another school year gone

I made it through another school year. It was an interesting one, for sure. I was here and there and then here again. I loved both places but the here was what I absolutely loved and I miss it. I miss the students lots and I hope I get to work with them again next year.

That was only a part of my year. I also went through a hysterectomy. That was the good part. Before that, I was led around by my body which sweat profusely and was prone to an onset of tears at any second, night or day and for being most unreasonable - which so isn't me. The hysterectomy solved most of that plus the hormonal severe headaches I'd been having for years and could never get under control. Wow! My life is so much better now.


Let's see, my daughter got married too. Kristen is now Kristen Dennis. That's very strange to hear her called that. So that also means I gained a son named Jordan. I'm also going to be a grandma to a little baby boy the last of August. So many changes.




All is this happened during the school year, and now...summer is here. I already went to Illinois Special Touch Get Away. Awesomeness! We all had a reeeeaaally good time and felt God's touch. I'll write about that another time. I met more new friends this year, which is always good. I'm ready to go again.



Mari has come and gone. We had a good time. A very low key visit but fun. We did have one Lucy/Ethel moment but that one was big. Why we have those, I sure don't know, and most of the time they aren't our fault. Well, many times they are but this time it wasn't. Sure do make good memory makers though.


Now I have the rest of the summer looming before me and not quite sure what God has in store for me. I have the time to do. What is it God has for me? Not everyone has a whole summer and I want to use it for God's glory but I need to know how. I don't want to look backwards and know I frittered it away.

I will do this while I wait:

"Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live..."  Isaiah 55:3

 -- so that is my plan for now.  Listen. Read. Study God's Word. Be prepared for whatever He has for me to do. Sounds like a good plan!

 

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Grace Card

We have a very nice blacktop road a half mile from our house that leads to Route 10 - the main road into Clinton, this is the town where I work and bank... This road is like a race track, I'm sorry to say.  My boys have confessed to me that they speed on it.  It's just that kind of a road.  It's hilly and a perfect pavement for it.

Yesterday I took off not even thinking about the speedometer.  I didn't have to be anywhere at a certain time.  I mindlessly drove on this most perfect road.  Until...I saw a police car in front of me.  I had just come down a hill so I didn't have much notice.  Ugh...a police car.  In the middle of nowhere too.  I applied the brakes a little, to show some respect and I felt a pit in my stomach.  Please, don't pull me over.  Please...

He kept on driving.  I was shown some grace.  And I appreciated it.  I certainly deserved to be pulled over.  When I looked at my speed, it showed 70.  I had no idea.  I told you, the road is a race track!

Every single day, I experience grace, both in my day-to-day life and in my spiritual life but the grace experienced in my spiritual life is much more often and I can count on it.

"...The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ." -- (Romans 3:22-24 NIV)

You see, Jesus is our Grace Card - our 'Get out of Jail Free Card.'  Without Him, shiver...  I can't even imagine where I would be without Jesus.  I don't want to think about it.  

I learned my lesson for a bit.  I drove the speed limit the rest of the way into town.  But guess what I did when I got to the Waynesville Speed Way on the way home - I found my foot getting heavier and heavier until I was going about 70 mph again.  Whoa!  Surely I've learned my lesson.  I backed off and scolded myself.  When will I learn?  Will I ever learn my lesson?  

I'm very grateful to Jesus, that He died on the cross for me.  If the things I did depended on me going to Heaven - I would be in trouble.  My heavy foot would lead me down instead of to my intended destination, I'm afraid.  All we have to do is believe and confess that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  

Remember this most important verse of all and probably one of the first I memorized, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  (John 3:16 NIV)  

This post may seem pretty basic but there's a time we need to get down to the basics.  We need to remember there's many out there who don't know all of this.  Things we learned when we were little, are foreign to others.  Let's reach out and share this Good News to our friends and family in this New Year, 2013.  We're running out of time.  I really believe that.  We've been shown grace and we'll be shown grace on That Day, Judgement Day.  Won't you share that grace with others?

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