Look at the Flower

How Can I Keep From Singing by Chris Tomlin

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives


And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give


How can I keep from singing your praise? How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love? How can I keep from shouting your name? I know i am loved by the king, and it makes my heart want to sing


I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

This was one of the many songs we sang during worship Sunday that touched me to my very soul.  God knew I hadn't been in church for a long time and He had to compact it all into about a twenty minute period - and man! did He pack!  I couldn't help but cry and was so glad we sat in the very back row.  I was touched.  Not sure about anyone else, but as for me?  God met me in Clinton, Illinois on Sunday, January 17, 2010.

Okay, other things happened, too, as if that wasn't enough.  That morning I woke up to God telling me, "Quit worrying."  I've been so wrapped up in wanting to know if the surgery worked that it's paralyzed me.  That was a big ephiphany for me.  Maybe a pretty obvious one, but was what I needed to hear.  If the surgery is successful, yay!  If it isn't, I'll deal.  God will always be with me.  Always.  No matter what.

Back to church...  when I got up to go to the restroom (the reason we sat in the back,) I saw a young man sitting there - a senior from my school, one that I have really bonded with despite...  well, just in spite of stuff, which I can't share here because of confidentiality.  I said hi to him and he acted like he'd never seen me before in his life.  I took a second look and there's no way I had the wrong kid.  I'm just saying...  "I'm Mrs. Hubrich, from school?"  He knew.  I think I just surprised him.  I invited him up to sit with my husband and I.  Of course, I still had to get to the bathroom, and a little faster at that point.  When I got back, Noah sat between my husband and I.  Fitting.  So fitting.  He was nestled in with a family.  I hope and pray he felt he belonged.  

He sat and twirled his Bible.  At school I would have stopped that action, just a touch and he would know what I meant, but I believe God stopped me.  We didn't have a sermon.  Our pastor sat and interviewed one of our missionary workers from Haiti.  Wow.  It was powerful.  Amazing.  God is working there but they need so much.  

Anyway, so many have been standing in prayer for me through all my health problems lately.  I knew it was time to stand in myself.  I KNEW I had to go forward for prayer.  The problem:  Noah sat between my husband and I and I needed to tell him what I was going to do.  God is hilarious.  So funny.  During the invitation hymn, Noah asked to be excused.  He walked forward.  HE WALKED FORWARD.  I'm sure now he was twirling his Bible in anticipation and a little nervousness.  I'm so very glad I listened to God or very glad that God held my hands back (that's more like it.)   I slipped close to tell Jim what I was doing and I walked behind this young man.

My pastor prayed for me.  I need to accept the healing God is offering me, if indeed it is a healing.  My doctor has done what he can for now.  It's up to God for healing and restoring.  It was awesome.  

And my Noah, he repeated the confession of faith and I WAS UP FRONT TO BE THERE FOR HIM LIKE A MOM SHOULD BE.  I was there!  God made sure it all happened when I was there!  I gave him a big victory salute and he smiled.  Awesomeness.  

After church I walked back down that loooong aisle (I didn't mention how long it is, especially from the very back, did I?) and our school nurse stopped me.  Another one of our students stood there and she told me she was getting baptized soon, too.  Wow.  And another one of the students I work with was there and gave me a hug:)  Was good to see them.  Really really.  God is working in our school - I'm so grateful to our youth pastor, Adam, ministering to these kids.  They aren't the 'popular' ones but they are the ones God loves so very much because of their unpopularness.  I just know it in my heart.

Oh, when I got back, after another woman telling me a miracle that happened in her daughter's life, I picked up my bag and it was heavy.  Weird.  Just had water and medicine in there.  A very dear woman whose ministry is to encourage all she can, had ran home to get a Bible that she had ordered for me.  A Bible that's out-of-print that she specially found for me - an NIV Encouragement Bible.  Charlotte Milton has a powerful, behind-the-scenes ministry.  A dear woman and she has encouraged me many times, in many ways.

Okay, my Sunday at church was awesome and I made it.  

But... of course... today I'm paying for it.  I'm lying low in the valley where satan wants me to be.  I guess he didn't win, though.  I finally wrote this.  Indeed...God is victorious in my life.  All I have to do is let Him in.  Quit closing the door so tight.  

I don't feel like a winner today but faith isn't about feelings.  I am so glad about that.  My faith verse I picked out for the year is this: 

Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of Your miracle-wonders." Psalm 119:18, The Message

 Miracles are all around us.  Mari told me today, "Look and find the flower."  I told her it's all wilted and iced over and she said, "Look again."  So I looked again.  The miracle is in my heart.  It's in Noah's heart.  It's in your heart.

Open our eyes, Lord....