One Year Older!

Wow! Our youngest son is now one year older than he was yesterday. That means, we are one year closer to having an empty nest. That sounds scary and exciting at the same time. Fifteen years old. I almost remember when I was fifteen - LOL! He's going to have his driving permit this week. I can't wait for that. I will be faithfully chauffered around. I will feel very queenly. Maybe I will keep the window down and practice my Queen wave. Umm... maybe not. Nik will refuse to drive and then where will I be? Oh well...

Anyway, fifteen. Sometimes I would like to stuff him in a box and poke some air holes in it. I really am not sure I want him to grow up. I could stick some food in every once in a while. As long as he had a game system, I'm sure he would have no problems with it, either. I told him one day last week that maybe we could start counting down backwards. He humored me and said if that is what I wanted to do, that was fine. But as I thought about it later, I realized that isn't what I want for him. I want him to grow up, to live a life for God. To live God-strong. To make his mark on the world, whatever he does.

I have no control over it anyway. If he were in an accident, his good health could be gone in a second. He could go backwards and that is definitely NOT what I want. No, the best thing is to keep on growing, in spite of me, and how much it hurts my mommy-heart. We spend our days at baseball games, cheering him on as he hits the ball, as he pitches and saves the game from being called by the ten-run-rule, as he rounds the bases, as he catches fly balls in left field and as he shields his eyes from the sun to catch the pop flies.

I anticipate lots more baseball games in the future and I look forward to it. I also anticipate more honor roll assemblies and seeing him walking down the hall with a girl at his side. I will cherish these memories and know that fifteen years ago I gave birth to what would soon become a giant. A giant in my eyes. My son, who doesn't have to do a thing to feel my love. All he has to do is be himself. That is my gift to him, unwavering, unceasing, Mommy-love.

Happy Birthday, Nik!