>> Monday, August 4, 2008
I am experiencing all sorts of emotions - anger, irritation, extreme love, happiness, joy, loneliness... I am very hard to keep up with. Just try to live with me and you will realize why my husband's hair is white! Its so hard being a woman anyway, and then on top of that I am dealing with a new medicine that I'm pretty sure is messing up my moods, and then being in pain so much makes me very irritable. I am having a hard time handling it all. It is definitely a roller coaster ride and if you are even a little close to me, you've ridden that coaster with me too.
I am praying for discernment. I need to know when enough is enough for this medicine. I don't want to get in too deep before I decide there is a problem and then have to try to dig out of it. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. Uh-huh.
On Wednesday I am off again. This time Peej, another FW friend, is picking me up and we are traveling to Ohio to visit other FW friends. I can't wait. We are going to have a wonderful car trip, I am sure of that! Peej and I have never met before, which is very sad, since we both live in Illinois, but you all do realize how LONG Illinois is? I think she's about 4 hours away. We'll know for sure on Wednesday when she actually makes the drive.
I'm sure we're going to have late nights talking and giggling (well, Dee, Chrissy, and I anyway) I think Peej goes to bed early. I'm sure we'll have times we pray, too. Chrissy loves to pray and I can't wait to be able to experience that with her. Chrissy's from Australia, by the way. She's traveling across the US to meet her FW friends. I'm praying for her safety as she does that. Right now, I believe, she's in Arizona visiting the Grand Canyon and Beth:)
The sad thing about internet friendships is that you most probably will never meet face-to-face. That is really hard to accept. And a sad thing about friends that live near is that we are able to get together more but don't. Ugh... which is worse? One there is nothing we can do about but the other there is. We just have to make the time. Someone needs to push things along. Be the bully. Set things in motion. Once a month that my "home" friends and I try to get together just isn't cutting it so much anymore. Its crazy when I sit in church and long to be with one of my friends who is on the Amen side or the hallelujah side or whichever:) I think I'm at a time in my life when relationships are very important to me.
While I figure all this out, I strap on my seatbelt, take along whoever is brave enough, and let the ride begin. Along the way I wipe the tears that fall down my cheeks at the oddest of times. I drip and I coast and I roll. Anyone want to come along? I saved a seat just for you!